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Monday, March 24, 2008

the 1991 goody's five hundred at martinsville

(to the song “return to sender” by elvis presley)




mis-ter sep-tem-ber

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

do you re-mem-ber when har-ry gant

spun at mar-tins-ville late

(and) ben-ny said, “too bad he can’t

to-day win his fourth straight”? (then hand-some har-ry)

with-out a fen-der

re-took the lead

took the check-ers

four straight weeks

do-ver and rich-mond

and dar-ling-ton

plus three busch rac-es

at the age of just fif-ty-one

strapped on some bungees the next pit stop

on har-ry’s skoal ban-dit

olds-mo-bi-le looked beat-up

but that team would-n’t quit (good thing they did-n’t)

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

re-took the lead

took the check-ers

four straight weeks

gant did-n’t win a fifth, but came near

his brake sys-tem would-n’t move

but at mich-i-gan - the ve-ry next year

(he won) at age fif-ty-two (a-no-ther rec-ord!)

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

re-took the lead

took the check-ers

four straight weeks

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

with-out a fen-der

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

with-out a fen-der—

NEXT WEEK:
Who will make history in this week’s Martinsville event, the Goody’s Cool Orange 500? Find out Sunday and come here on Monday!
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Monday, March 17, 2008

the 2008 food city five hundred at bristol

(to the song “get ready” by the temptations)



watch dale jar-rett make his fin-al race

boy, what a car-eer

race the truck!

kyle busch took his time, got-up to first place

but his car won’t steer

the wheel stuck!

clint won a

rain-y day

then fin-ished third

to his team-mates

(the) third straight year a stew-art win slipped through

the lane he chose - had har-vick’s nose

then den-ny ham-lin’s car can’t pick up fuel

took off too slow - the tro-phy goes

to jeff bur-ton

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from? (i have no clue!)

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from?

watch fran-chi-tti and jam-ie bump and rub

and wreck three dodg-es

plus men-ard

and then ham-lin throw a block on cas-ey

un-der the cau-tion

hit the wall hard

watch mike skin-ner hit

joe nem-e-chek

catch on fire and

then still fin-ish

(the) third straight year a stew-art win slipped through

the lane he chose - had har-vick’s nose

then den-ny ham-lin’s car can’t pick up fuel

took off too slow - the tro-phy goes

to jeff bur-ton

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from? (no idea!)

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from?

jeff bur-ton

(instrumental)

lit-tle e, a new mis-cue

put him in bad shape

on old tires

both gill-i-land and al-mir-o-la, too

sol-id top-ten days

i was in-spired

jim-mie played too much

gui-tar hero

and har-vick’s car

gets more yel-low

(the) third straight year a stew-art win slipped through

the lane he chose - had har-vick’s nose

then den-ny ham-lin’s car can’t pick up fuel

took off too slow - the tro-phy goes

to jeff bur-ton

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from? (i have no clue!)

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from—

NEXT WEEK:
To help ramp you guys up for Martinsville, next week’s song will be a retrospective on one of the track’s greatest races! It’s the 1991 Goody’s 500 at Martinsville next week on “Karaoke for NASCAR Fans!”
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Monday, March 10, 2008

the 2008 kobalt tools five hundred at atlanta

(to the song “turning japanese” by the vapors)



rob-by’s twen-ty-first

watch car-l slide

jeff’s pole, the slow-est

since nine-ty-five

all-men-din-ger must now ob-serve, mike skin-ner drives

pat-rick car-pen-tier

is two-for-two

dave blan-ey feels bad

he’s got the flu

fri-day, kyle busch thought that the a-pron was a groove

watch jun-ior take off

lap-ping cars non-stop

wal-trip and nem-e-chek bounced off of the wall

kas-ey kahne led once

be-cause he wheel-hopped

and then he spun a-round in the quad-o-val

john-son said, “boy i am like jack-ie chan”

too bad sun-day went to ja-pan ‘cause

who’s that in the lead? it’s kyle busch’s car eigh-teen,

watch his cam-ry go

and for-tun-ately, his ti-re did-n’t spring a leak,

sec-ond place was smoke

five years af-ter bob-by la-bon-te won in oh-three’s

at-lan-ta al-so

half a cen-tu-ry since al kel-ler’s lin-den vict’ry,

last for-eign make show

(instrumental)

clint bow-yer looked good

may-be thought he could

win it all, but wound up a third-straight sixth place

a hamlin pit stop

that was un-sched-uled

gave a-way spots that he could not quite re-place

team-mate’s car did weird stuff, the ride was rough

but not en-ough, ‘cause busch was tough and

who’s that in the lead? it’s kyle busch’s car eighteen,

watch his cam-ry go

and for-tun-ately, his ti-re did-n’t spring a leak,

sec-ond place was smoke

five years af-ter bob-by la-bon-te won in oh-three’s

at-lan-ta al-so

half a cen-tu-ry since al kel-ler’s lin-den vict’ry,

last for-eign make show

ti-res too hard, four de-bris cau-tions

sad-ler kept on spin-ning, third time was the charm

ed-wards had the lead, but the af-lac car blew smoke

pulled be-hind the wall, thinks that the trans-miss-ion broke

what a shame

and then watch

who’s that in the lead? it’s kyle busch’s car eighteen,

watch his cam-ry go

and for-tun-ately, his ti-re did-n’t spring a leak,

sec-ond place was smoke

five years af-ter bob-by la-bon-te won in oh-three’s

at-lan-ta al-so

half a cen-tu-ry since al kel-ler’s lin-den vict’ry,

last for-eign make show

(instrumental)

who’s that in the lead? it’s kyle busch’s car eighteen,

watch his cam-ry go

and for-tun-ately, his ti-re did-n’t spring a leak,

sec-ond place was smoke

five years af-ter bob-by la-bon-te won in oh-three’s

at-lan-ta al-so

‘ry go

was smoke

make show

half a cen-tu-ry since al kel-ler’s lin-den vict’ry,

last for-eign make show—


NEXT WEEK:
The short track season is finally here! The Food City 500 from Bristol Motor Speedway, next week on “Karaoke for NASCAR Fans!”
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Monday, March 03, 2008

the 2008 uaw-dodge four hundred at las vegas

(to the song “21st century (digital boy)” by bad religion)



sun-day was win-dy

reu-ti-mann got black flagged

‘cross the pain-ted grass, mc-murr-ay caught air, oh yeah

kyle busch was so fast

he liked to use the a-pron

but his car slipped back in the end, oh yeah

‘cause ca-rl ed-wards won - ve-gas o’er - jun-ior’s new toy

in the nat-ion-wide race, mar-tin got his car de-stroyed

a ti-re - once sent him - to the back - of the long-est line

cam-era-man got in the way, no pen-al-ty that ti-i-me

that’s two straight vict-o-ries, yeah!

there were hard crash-es

ste-wart - hit big in turn three

a right-front tire-blew-in-to-the-soft-wall, which hurt

then ca-rl ed-wards won - ve-gas o’er - jun-ior’s new toy

scott riggs had a great day ‘til his fen-der got de-stroyed

while kvap-il - and ra-gan - had great runs - at the fin-ish line

mike skin-ner star-ted in fifth - from knock-out qual-i-fy-ing

but where on earth’s jim-mie, yeah?

watch matt ken-seth and jeff gor-don - high and low

turn two, just like chi-ca-go

matt ken-seth spun and - a gap was what gor-don hit

hurt and an-gry, jeff said, “that should be fixed”

(call over instrumental:)
“And, for the ninth time in his Sprint Cup career, Carl Edwards will go to victory lane!”

‘cause ca-rl ed-wards won - ve-gas o’er - jun-ior’s new toy

in the nat-ion-wide race, mar-tin got his car de-stroyed

a ti-re - once sent him to the back of the long-est line

cam-era-man got in the way, no pen-al-ty that time

kahne’s

sick

kel-ler’s at bay

first

start for

car-pen-ti-er

kurt busch and robby blew right-front tires

figh-ting the traf-fic

mar-tin is cran-ky

that’s two straight vic-to-ries, yeah!


NEXT WEEK:
The Kobalt Tools 500 at Atlanta!
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