karaoke for nascar fans

Update

2008-12-28T15:39:00.000-08:00

This site is currently at a standstill. For more of my newer NASCAR work, be sure to check out these links:

http://www.youtube.com/nadeau1064
http://brockbeard.blogspot.com

--Brock Beard
Founder, Karaoke for NASCAR Fans

arca: the inaugural carolina five hundred at rockingham

2008-05-05T20:04:00.000-07:00

(to the song “gto” by ronnie and the daytonas)

jo-ey lo-ga-no

got in car twen-ty-five

for his first ar-ca race

(with) for-ty-nine cars be-hind

rock-ing-ham’s track was back o-pen

and the young-ster shi-yi-yined

be-cause the car-o-li

na-five-hun

dred-went-to

lo-gan-o

go, go, joe-y lo-ga-no

for-ty-nine cars are too slow

go, go, jo-ey lo-ga-no

dom-in-at-ing from the pole

was - jo-ey lo-ga-no

big wreck hap-pened on the twelfth lap

scott speed did-n’t slow

mich-ael ann-ett got dam-age

then came back like a pro

justin all-gaier pulled a musc-le

his trans-miss-ion bro-whoa-oke

and then the car-o-li

na-five-hun

dred-went-to

lo-gan-o

go, go, joe-y lo-ga-no

for-ty-nine cars are too slow

go, go, jo-ey lo-ga-no

dom-in-at-ing from the pole

was - jo-ey lo-ga-no

DANCE BREAK!

(instrumental)

jo-ey stretched his four hoo-siers

a hundred one cir-cuits

got some fresh ones and pre-tty soon

three lead lap cars were it

log-a-no’s tires were ol-der

(but) he did-n’t pi-i-it

un-til the cau-tion with nine to go

schra-der was in the lead, but we know

that then the car-o-li-

na-five-hun-

dred-went-to

lo-gan-o

go, go, joe-y lo-ga-no

for-ty nine cars are too slow

go, go, jo-ey lo-ga-no

dom-in-at-ing from the pole

was - jo-ey lo-ga-no

the 2008 samsung five hundred at texas

2008-04-07T20:52:00.001-07:00

(to the song “the twist” by chubby checker)

sec-ond timed lap

a car lost grip

mc-dow-ell’s crash

was so vic-ious

thank-full-y, right out he climbed

back at tex-as

at—tex-as (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

back at tex-as (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

whoo-hooo, yeah (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

af-lac wins (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

for carl ed-wards, it’s

his third back-flip

kyle busch is way too fast

smoke’s de-pressed ear-ly on

jeff - gor-don just got last

watch sam hit reut-i-mann

juni-or was fast, exc-ept on pit road

ye-ley caused a cau-tion

back—at tex-as (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

yeah, at-tex-as (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

whoo-hooo, yeah (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

af-lac wins (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

for carl ed-wards, it’s

his third back-flip

yee-haw—

(background over instrumental)
can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down
can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down
can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down
can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down
oooh-ah
can’t get a-round, los-in’—

up high, rob-by

the wall he hit

car sev-en-teen

fast in the pits

green-white-check-ers, bowy-er blocked

and mike ford’s miffed

back—at tex-as (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

yeah, at-tex-as (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

whoo-hoo, yeah (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

af-lac wins (can’t get a-round, los-in’ ground, one lap down)

for carl ed-wards, it’s

his third back-flip—

NEXT WEEK:
I’m actually going to be trying something new for next week’s race at Phoenix, so be sure to tune in to RaceTalkRadio.com next Monday at 9 P.M Eastern to find out!

the 2008 goody's cool orange five hundred at martinsville

2008-03-31T19:45:00.000-07:00

(to the song “(we’re gonna) rock around the clock” by bill haley and his comets)

crew chiefs wor-ried a-bout the rain-drops

why did den-ny just make that pit stop?

back to nine-teenth spot, boy is he hot

then back he fought

and a got

a clock that night

well, when bo-bby spun, (it) tweaked the front

(of) jeff gor-don who still got sec-ond

kyle busch was off, jeff bur-ton topped his ride

reu-ti-mann dropped-dropped-dropped from the thir-ty-five

and ham-lin stopped the hen-drick on-slaught up front this time

rob-by and ken-seth’s - days were bad, matt

lost two laps spin-ning gill-i-land

kyle busch was off, jeff bur-ton topped his ride

reu-ti-mann dropped-dropped-dropped from the thir-ty-five

and ham-lin stopped the hen-drick on-slaught up front this time

(instrumental)

what a good time ed- wards was havin’

‘til out of gas last cor-ner hap-pened

kyle busch was off, jeff bur-ton topped his ride

reu-ti-mann dropped-dropped-dropped from the thir-ty-five

and ham-lin stopped the hen-drick on-slaught up front this time

poor sadl-er hurt bad - slipped two discs

dug deep and had a good fin-ish

kyle busch was off, jeff bur-ton topped his ride

reu-ti-mann dropped-dropped-dropped from the thir-ty-five

and ham-lin stopped the hen-drick on-slaught up front this time

(instrumental)

mc-mur-ray, mears, and da-vid ra-gan

had great runs a-round - the top ten

kyle busch was off, jeff bur-ton topped his ride

reu-ti-mann dropped-dropped-dropped from the thir-ty-five

and ham-lin stopped the hen-drick on-slaught up front this time

NEXT WEEK:
It’s the Samsung 500 from Texas Motor Speedway!

the 1991 goody's five hundred at martinsville

2008-03-24T17:37:00.000-07:00

(to the song “return to sender” by elvis presley)

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

do you re-mem-ber when har-ry gant

spun at mar-tins-ville late

(and) ben-ny said, “too bad he can’t

to-day win his fourth straight”? (then hand-some har-ry)

with-out a fen-der

re-took the lead

took the check-ers

four straight weeks

do-ver and rich-mond

and dar-ling-ton

plus three busch rac-es

at the age of just fif-ty-one

strapped on some bungees the next pit stop

on har-ry’s skoal ban-dit

olds-mo-bi-le looked beat-up

but that team would-n’t quit (good thing they did-n’t)

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

re-took the lead

took the check-ers

four straight weeks

gant did-n’t win a fifth, but came near

his brake sys-tem would-n’t move

but at mich-i-gan - the ve-ry next year

(he won) at age fif-ty-two (a-no-ther rec-ord!)

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

re-took the lead

took the check-ers

four straight weeks

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

with-out a fen-der

mis-ter sep-tem-ber

with-out a fen-der—

NEXT WEEK:
Who will make history in this week’s Martinsville event, the Goody’s Cool Orange 500? Find out Sunday and come here on Monday!

the 2008 food city five hundred at bristol

2008-03-17T17:31:00.001-07:00

(to the song “get ready” by the temptations)

watch dale jar-rett make his fin-al race

boy, what a car-eer

race the truck!

kyle busch took his time, got-up to first place

but his car won’t steer

the wheel stuck!

clint won a

rain-y day

then fin-ished third

to his team-mates

(the) third straight year a stew-art win slipped through

the lane he chose - had har-vick’s nose

then den-ny ham-lin’s car can’t pick up fuel

took off too slow - the tro-phy goes

to jeff bur-ton

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from? (i have no clue!)

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from?

watch fran-chi-tti and jam-ie bump and rub

and wreck three dodg-es

plus men-ard

and then ham-lin throw a block on cas-ey

un-der the cau-tion

hit the wall hard

watch mike skin-ner hit

joe nem-e-chek

catch on fire and

then still fin-ish

(the) third straight year a stew-art win slipped through

the lane he chose - had har-vick’s nose

then den-ny ham-lin’s car can’t pick up fuel

took off too slow - the tro-phy goes

to jeff bur-ton

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from? (no idea!)

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from?

jeff bur-ton

(instrumental)

lit-tle e, a new mis-cue

put him in bad shape

on old tires

both gill-i-land and al-mir-o-la, too

sol-id top-ten days

i was in-spired

jim-mie played too much

gui-tar hero

and har-vick’s car

gets more yel-low

(the) third straight year a stew-art win slipped through

the lane he chose - had har-vick’s nose

then den-ny ham-lin’s car can’t pick up fuel

took off too slow - the tro-phy goes

to jeff bur-ton

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from? (i have no clue!)

jeff bur-ton, where’d he come from—

NEXT WEEK:
To help ramp you guys up for Martinsville, next week’s song will be a retrospective on one of the track’s greatest races! It’s the 1991 Goody’s 500 at Martinsville next week on “Karaoke for NASCAR Fans!”

the 2008 kobalt tools five hundred at atlanta

2008-03-10T15:49:00.001-07:00

(to the song “turning japanese” by the vapors)

rob-by’s twen-ty-first

watch car-l slide

jeff’s pole, the slow-est

since nine-ty-five

all-men-din-ger must now ob-serve, mike skin-ner drives

pat-rick car-pen-tier

is two-for-two

dave blan-ey feels bad

he’s got the flu

fri-day, kyle busch thought that the a-pron was a groove

watch jun-ior take off

lap-ping cars non-stop

wal-trip and nem-e-chek bounced off of the wall

kas-ey kahne led once

be-cause he wheel-hopped

and then he spun a-round in the quad-o-val

john-son said, “boy i am like jack-ie chan”

too bad sun-day went to ja-pan ‘cause

who’s that in the lead? it’s kyle busch’s car eigh-teen,

watch his cam-ry go

and for-tun-ately, his ti-re did-n’t spring a leak,

sec-ond place was smoke

five years af-ter bob-by la-bon-te won in oh-three’s

at-lan-ta al-so

half a cen-tu-ry since al kel-ler’s lin-den vict’ry,

last for-eign make show

(instrumental)

clint bow-yer looked good

may-be thought he could

win it all, but wound up a third-straight sixth place

a hamlin pit stop

that was un-sched-uled

gave a-way spots that he could not quite re-place

team-mate’s car did weird stuff, the ride was rough

but not en-ough, ‘cause busch was tough and

who’s that in the lead? it’s kyle busch’s car eighteen,

watch his cam-ry go

and for-tun-ately, his ti-re did-n’t spring a leak,

sec-ond place was smoke

five years af-ter bob-by la-bon-te won in oh-three’s

at-lan-ta al-so

half a cen-tu-ry since al kel-ler’s lin-den vict’ry,

last for-eign make show

ti-res too hard, four de-bris cau-tions

sad-ler kept on spin-ning, third time was the charm

ed-wards had the lead, but the af-lac car blew smoke

pulled be-hind the wall, thinks that the trans-miss-ion broke

what a shame

and then watch

who’s that in the lead? it’s kyle busch’s car eighteen,

watch his cam-ry go

and for-tun-ately, his ti-re did-n’t spring a leak,

sec-ond place was smoke

five years af-ter bob-by la-bon-te won in oh-three’s

at-lan-ta al-so

half a cen-tu-ry since al kel-ler’s lin-den vict’ry,

last for-eign make show

(instrumental)

who’s that in the lead? it’s kyle busch’s car eighteen,

watch his cam-ry go

and for-tun-ately, his ti-re did-n’t spring a leak,

sec-ond place was smoke

five years af-ter bob-by la-bon-te won in oh-three’s

at-lan-ta al-so

‘ry go

was smoke

make show

half a cen-tu-ry since al kel-ler’s lin-den vict’ry,

last for-eign make show—

NEXT WEEK:
The short track season is finally here! The Food City 500 from Bristol Motor Speedway, next week on “Karaoke for NASCAR Fans!”

the 2008 uaw-dodge four hundred at las vegas

2008-03-03T17:32:00.001-08:00

(to the song “21st century (digital boy)” by bad religion)

sun-day was win-dy

reu-ti-mann got black flagged

‘cross the pain-ted grass, mc-murr-ay caught air, oh yeah

kyle busch was so fast

he liked to use the a-pron

but his car slipped back in the end, oh yeah

‘cause ca-rl ed-wards won - ve-gas o’er - jun-ior’s new toy

in the nat-ion-wide race, mar-tin got his car de-stroyed

a ti-re - once sent him - to the back - of the long-est line

cam-era-man got in the way, no pen-al-ty that ti-i-me

that’s two straight vict-o-ries, yeah!

there were hard crash-es

ste-wart - hit big in turn three

a right-front tire-blew-in-to-the-soft-wall, which hurt

then ca-rl ed-wards won - ve-gas o’er - jun-ior’s new toy

scott riggs had a great day ‘til his fen-der got de-stroyed

while kvap-il - and ra-gan - had great runs - at the fin-ish line

mike skin-ner star-ted in fifth - from knock-out qual-i-fy-ing

but where on earth’s jim-mie, yeah?

watch matt ken-seth and jeff gor-don - high and low

turn two, just like chi-ca-go

matt ken-seth spun and - a gap was what gor-don hit

hurt and an-gry, jeff said, “that should be fixed”

(call over instrumental:)
“And, for the ninth time in his Sprint Cup career, Carl Edwards will go to victory lane!”

‘cause ca-rl ed-wards won - ve-gas o’er - jun-ior’s new toy

in the nat-ion-wide race, mar-tin got his car de-stroyed

a ti-re - once sent him to the back of the long-est line

cam-era-man got in the way, no pen-al-ty that time

kahne’s

sick

kel-ler’s at bay

first

start for

car-pen-ti-er

kurt busch and robby blew right-front tires

figh-ting the traf-fic

mar-tin is cran-ky

that’s two straight vic-to-ries, yeah!

NEXT WEEK:
The Kobalt Tools 500 at Atlanta!

the 2008 auto club five hundred at auto club (california)

2008-02-25T20:16:00.000-08:00

(to the song “raindrops keep fallin’ on my head” by b.j. thomas)

a clamp fell off of wal-trip’s car

he dropped tons of oi-l on the track be-fore the start

rain had bare-ly dried

de-

bris flew all over, watch those cars o-ver-heat-in’

for poor ham-lin, track seep-age then took its toll

and mears hit a wet patch, spun, and horn-ish made him roll

jun-ior got a piece

so

crews tried to cut holes in the track, the rain came back

nas-car wan-ted - to try

to run those cars through mid-night un-der the lights

but post-osc-ars just did-n’t work, so on to mon-day

to-day, they fin-a-lly got it in

bif-fle and kyle busch were not as fast and jeff gor-don

blew up at the end

but

still fin-ished third since jar-rett’s spin caused a cau-tion

while car-l e.

won a race with jim-mie

(instrumental)

watch mc-mur-ray, he’s way too free

drif-ted, but saved it

oh, wait, did i al-so men-tion?

the track changed its name to “au-to club,” how re-dun-dant!

that won’t fill the seats

but

when this en-dur-ance race fin-ished, who was standing?

it’s car-l e.

in sec-ond was jim-mie—

NEXT WEEK:
Who will hit the jackpot in Sin City? Tune in here next Monday to find out in my tribute to the UAW-Dodge 400 from the Las Vegas Motor Speedway!

fan submission: the allison family

2008-02-21T23:11:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, a reader named Jay Jianoran sent me lyrics he wrote for a unique musical tribute to the Allison family. Intrigued by Mr. Jianoran’s idea and encouraged by his enthusiasm, I collaborated with him on the piece and, today, I would like to present not only the first fan-submitted song in the history of “Karaoke for NASCAR Fans,” but the first to be put to the lyrics of a pageant’s opening number.

To the song “Summer Fun” as performed by the young ladies of the 1991 Miss Teen USA Pageant, this is “Allison” by Jay Jianoran:

all-i-son, all-i-so-n

all-i-son, all-i-so-n

bo-bby, da-vey, and don-nie

all-i-son, all-i-so-n

big fist fight

se'nty-nine

in day-to-na beach

eigh-ty-eight - dad bobby raced

in bu-ick num-ber twelve

con-grat-u-la-ting his pit crew in vic-to-ry lane

boy, they're hav-in' fun 'cause they're the al-a-bam-a ga-ang

all-i-son, all-i-so-n

all-i-son, all-i-so-n

rac-ing for num-ber one

all-i-son, all-i-so-n

bo-bby flew - lea-ding to

new re-stric-tor plates

don-nie runs at-lanta and won in sev-en-ty-eight

bro-ther won his cup at last in nine-teen-eight-y-three

bo-bby won eigh-ty-four rac-es, tied with dar-rell, too

dav-ey won the five hun-dred in nine-teen-nine-ty-two-oo!

all-i-son, all-i-so-n

all-i-son, all-i-so-n

bob-by, dav-ey, and don-nie

le-gend - lives-on

of-the - all-i-sons!

Thank you, Mr. Jianoran! It was a pleasure working with you.

Be sure to stay tuned to my YouTube channel this Saturday where, by popular demand, I will be doing another starting grid video for this weekend’s Auto Club 500 at California Speedway.

And don’t miss my own lyrical review for that race this coming Monday evening right here at the one and only “Karaoke for NASCAR Fans.” Have a great weekend, everyone!

the fiftieth daytona five hundred

2008-02-18T16:30:00.000-08:00

(to the song “zoot suit riot” by the cherry poppin’ daddies)

day-to-na five hun-dred’s fif-ty

front row is john-son and mik-ey

tires chunked and some lift-ers broke

thurs-day, ham-lin - passed-up smoke

an-dre-tti, vick-ers, and - two from fur-ni-ture row

made dale jarr-ett’s last one, but the gold tro-phy goes

(to) rock-et ry-an (new-man!)

thanks to a punt in the rear

(from) kurt be-hind him (new-man!)

the fin-al lap, they both had smoke cleared

rock-et ry-an (new-man!)

first win in more than two years

great job dri-vin’ (new-man!)

the cap-tain’s first plate win, it is here!

go, penske!

(instrumental)

jun-ior stayed out, he can’t make a run

clint bowy-er, from the lead, mon-toy-a spun

wrecks took mears, dave blan-ey, and ra-gan

shock broke late for jeff gor-don

kyle busch led all day, yeah, he won’t let ham-lin by

came back near the end, but he then ran out of time

(to) rock-et ry-an (new-man!)

dodge sure looks fast-er this year!

great job dri-vin’ (new-man!)

sam horn-ish fin-ished fif-teenth, how weird!

look out for rock-et ry-an

look out for rock-et ry-an

look out for rock-et ry-an

(broadcast call over instrumental)
“Newman was trying to get help from the other blue Dodge, now he’s got it. Toyota on the inside lane, Dodge on the outside lane, who’s gonna win it?
“It’s gonna go all the way to the wire, here they go into turn three!”
“Teammates working together, 20-18, 2-12! 12 is gonna win this race, I don’t think they can catch him back to the line!”
“He’s gonna have to make it wide! Pedal! Have to make it wide! Pedal!”
“Mr. Boilermaker, Ryan Newman! Ryan Newman, Roger Penske wins the Daytona 500!”

oh, mar-tin lost two laps when two ti-res both went flat

a hot day, watch cars give that out-side wall a slap

(not) rock-et ry-an (new-man!)

thanks to a punt in the rear

(from) kurt be-hind him (new-man!)

the fin-al lap, they both had smoke cleared

rock-et ry-an (new-man!)

first win in more than two years

great job dri-vin’ (new-man!)

the cap-tain’s first plate win, it is here!

look out for rock-et ry-an

look out for rock-et ry-an

look out for rock-et ry-an—

NEXT WEEK:
Roll out the red carpet and call your agent, ‘cause we’re going to Fontana for the Auto Club 500 at California Speedway!

Bonus: The Starting Grid For The 50th Daytona 500!

2008-02-15T02:58:00.000-08:00

Happy SpeedWeeks from "Karaoke for NASCAR Fans!"

the 2008 budweiser shootout at daytona

2008-02-11T17:44:00.000-08:00

(to the song “kickstart my heart” by motley crue)

boy, sa-tur-day night was ex-ci-ting

look who madethemostof his new-team:

earn-hardt, earn-hardt, who won? earn-hardt!

fin-al prac-tice, it was sure u-gly

eight cars to the back out of twen-ty-three

not earn-hardt, earn-hardt, but not earn-hardt!

ooh - "step-motors" are gone

now - i can use this song!

whoah

yeah

win for earn-hardt’s how the sea-son starts

whoah

yeah

baaaaa-by

whoah

yeah

win for earn-hardt, stew-art raced him hard

whoah

yeah

ba-byyyyyyy, yeah

(Mike Joy’s call over instrumental:)
“And Earnhardt comes up to block, that opens the bottom for Stewart! And the thirtieth annual Budweiser Shootout goes to the Amp / National Guard Impala of Dale Earnhardt, Jr.!”

fords kept crash-ing, which was such a shame

ell-i-ott’s wreck di-dn’t give up the high lane

like earn-hardt, earn-hardt, just like earn-hardt

gor-don and johnson raced in short track “bricks”

they both came back, but weren’t quite as good picks

as earn-hardt, earn-hardt, not like earn-hardt

yeah, mi-key and dave led!

yeah, toy-o-ta has caught-up—

whoah

yeah

win for earn-hardt’s how the sea-son starts

whoah

yeah

baaaaa-by

whoah

yeah

win for earn-hardt, stew-art raced him hard

whoah

yeah

ba-byyyyyyy

oooh-hoo

oooh, here comes earn-hardt—

tony stew-art is mad - so is kurt

that makes this round the third!

kurt swore that he had smoke cleared for sure

he cut smoke off

bent up his dodge

caught up to ask for grey pou-pon

and smoke might - have pulled - a spen-cer

but now ooh-oh, win for earn-hardt’s how the sea-son starts

and next week - it might - be two in a rooooow!

whoah

yeah

win for earn-hardt’s how the sea-son starts

whoah

yeah

b-b-b-b-b-b-baaaaa-by

whoah

yeah

win for earn-hardt, stew-art raced him hard

whoah

yeah

ba-byyyyyyy—

(Note: “step-motors” credited to the one and only Goddess of NASCAR, Ms. Lori Munro.)

NEXT WEEK:
The 50th Daytona 500 is upon us! Be sure to tune in next Monday night to see which song I will use to immortalize the golden anniversary of the one and only Great American Race!

the kfnf theme: celebrating two years and one hundred songs!

2008-02-06T18:13:00.000-08:00

(to the song “video killed the radio star” by the buggles)

two years a-go to-day was this web-site’s de-but

star-ted with po-ems of nas-car rac-ing re-views

but by mid-apr-il this site was run-ning on fumes

oh oh

and then my bro-ther won tex-as, he picked kas-ey

played “rock you like a hurr-i-cane” and laughed at me

i used that song and now the rest is his-to-ry

oh oh

that was the first song

oh oh

here's one hundred on

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

sing a-long, guys, it’s not hard!

oh oh-oh oh oh

each week, hear new songs on a nas-car post-race show

called “do-in’ don-uts” up at race-talk-ra-di-o

den-nis mich-elson - hosts with lo-ri mun-ro

oh oh

be sure to tune in

oh oh

and sing a-long with

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

this is what it’s all a-bout

rik-i racht-man, eat your heart out

oh oh-oh oh oh

oh oh-oh oh oh

(along with instrumental:)

sil-ly sea-son and cup rac-ing

mo-vie re-views and com-men-tar-y

old-school flash-backs and tri-butes, too

if your dri-ver wins

see which song I’ll spin

and then we’ll be-gin!

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

when you hear “bi-cy-cle race”

you’ll sing “greg bif-fle” in its place

don’t worr-y, just sing off-key

that’s why it’s called “kar-a-oke”!

o-ke - for fans of nas-car

o-ke - for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car

kara-o-ke for fans of nas-car—

NEXT WEEK:
February’s finally here! The 2008 Budweiser Shootout review is coming up next!

the 2008 silly season in three minutes, twelve seconds

2008-02-04T17:11:00.000-08:00

(to the song “get out of my dreams (get into my car)” by billy ocean)

hey (hey)

who (who)

who’s in the eight car?

mar-tin?

it’s true! - but where is earn-hardt?

ohhhhhh—

hey!

(instrumental)

earn-hardt jun-ior - has some new team-mates - car looks aw-ful

doug yates brought back - num-ber twen-ty eight - and kva-pil

bud-wei-ser’s on - kas-ey kahne’s dodge

while cas-ey mears is - mis-ter kell-ogg

schra-der’s a-gain car num-ber - for-ty-nine and

a plain and spon-sor-less - gil-i-land

here’s the new paint schemes

and op-en wheel stars (this year might be hard!)

not a-ny new teams - ex-cept for bar-rett’s, may-be

but they’re all new cars (of to-mor-oh-ow!)

jar-rett will re-tire (e.s.p.n. choir!)

reu-ti-mann is hi-red (he’ll drive the truck, too!)

this is oh-eight’s (eight’s) new (new)

sil-ly sea-son chart!

oh-whoa-ba-by

joe gibbs rac-ing - toy-o-ta this year - kyle busch will join ‘em

car nine-ty-six (nine-ty-six) - cam-ry with some new mirrors - ye-ley steers

dario fran-chi-tti, like jacques vill-en-euve,

pat-rick car-pen-tier, and sam hor-nish, too

will bat-tle re-gan smith and - mich-ael mc-dowell

for the cham-pi-on-ship - roo-kie bout!

here’s the new paint schemes

and op-en wheel stars (this year might be hard!)

who joined the haas team? - scott riggs and may-fie-ld did

rob-by’s a char-ger (new paint job, al-so!)

sad-ler’s with best buy (new gad-gets to try!)

bif-fle’s three-m’s guy (they make post-its, too!)

this is oh-eight’s (eight’s) new (new)

sil-ly sea-son chart!

oh, baby

let’s go

well a.t.-and-t’s back (has bur-ton’s back!)

carl has af-lac (hear his ford quack!)

yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

let’s go!—

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!
Be sure to come by on Wednesday to celebrate the two-year anniversary of “Karaoke for NASCAR Fans” with the KFNF Theme, my 100th song!

the 1993 daytona five hundred by stp

2008-01-28T17:11:00.000-08:00

(to the song “ballad of thunder road” by the charlie daniels band)

*Saluting The Career of 3-Time Daytona 500 Winner Dale Jarrett!*

this day-to-na story - might just top ‘em all

the tale of one fa-ther’s most fam-ous - broad-cast-ing call

king rich-ard waved the green flag - son ky-le’s on the pole

and when the fie-ld roared to life, the cha-os did un-fold

bad luck for dri-vers with - day-to-na vict’ries:

bill elliott dropped so much oil that he called his car “val-dez”

ir-van wrecked on the back-stretch - then a-gain on pit road

da-vey all-i-son dropped back, one of his ti-res was low

‘cause that five hun-dred was the - dale-and-da-le show

the day we heard ned jar-rett call his young’n’s che-vy home

eigh-teen car went high, bye-bye, jeff - gor-don’s in re-verse

dale earn-hardt slipped up highthen dale jar-rett fin-ished first

(lap) one went to a roo-kie - in car twen-ty-four

somethin’ blew up in dick trick-le’s se-ven-ty-five rah-moc ford

though he was in a back-up - boy, derr-ike cope ran great!

rick wil-son crashed the king’s car in-to bob-by’s six-ty-eight

kul-wick-i dropped a pis-ton - gant and cope gam-bled on gas

ster-ling mar-lin al-most flipped, hens-ley’s napa ford was smashed!

an in-jured ken-ny bern-stein - cheered brett bo-dine’s run

geoff bo-dine had some dam-age, but still fin-ished near the front

‘cause that five hun-dred was the - dale-and-da-le show

the day we heard ned jar-rett call his young’n’s che-vy home

eigh-teen car went high, bye-bye, jeff - gor-don’s in re-verse

dale earn-hardt slipped up highthen dale jar-rett fin-ished first

un-ser jun-ior was-n’t clear - earn-hardt took him for a spill

took out bo-bby hil-lin, whose don-la-vey ford was killed

then hil-lin slid in front of pet-ty, he could not slow down in time

they shou-ted at each oth-er af-ter, kyle said “hil-lin’s blind”

lat-er in the race came one big horr-if-ic sight

rus-ty wall-ace spun out dur-ing a close rac-ing fight

the two car hooked the dirt and rolled and tried to fly away

his pon-ti-ac was thrashed, good news that rus-ty was okay

‘cause that five hun-dred was the - dale-and-da-le show

the day we heard ned jar-rett call his young’n’s che-vy home

eigh-teen car went high, bye-bye, jeff - gor-don’s in re-verse

dale earn-hardt slipped up highthen dale jar-rett fin-ished first

dale earn-hardt slipped up highthen dale

jar

rett

fin

ished

first

(Ned Jarrett’s last-lap call:)
“C’mon, Dale, go baby go! Alright, come on! I know he’s got it to the floorboard, he can’t do anymore—come on, take ‘er to the inside! Don’t let him get on the inside of you comin’ around this turn. Here he comes, Earnhardt, it’s the Dale and Dale show as we come off turn four! You know who I’m pullin’ for, it’s Dale Jarrett, bring ‘er down to the inside, don’t let him get a run on you! He’s gonna make it! Dale Jarrett’s gonna win the Daytona 500!”

NEXT WEEK:
A special double-feature with the third-annual Silly Season song on Monday followed by a bonus tune on Wednesday celebrating two years and 100 songs at "Karaoke for NASCAR Fans!"

the 1976 daytona five hundred

2008-01-21T09:58:00.000-08:00

(to the song “flowers on the wall” by the statler brothers)

day-to-na, two kings of speed be-gan a game of chess

the tri-oval on the last lap was - a big ol’ mess

last year, with two left, sil-ver fox lost when his au-to spun

this year, he just did it a-gain, but this time pear-son won

both the lea-ders hit the wall

rich-ard pet-ty slid, then stalled

dav-id pear-son’s hopes looked gone

but his en-gine was still on

stepped down on the gas and passed that rich-ard pet-ty crew

they pushed his dodge - to po-si-tion two

foy-t, wal-trip, and dave marc-is were too fast, the pole went

t’ra-mo stott, but he got caught, to the back, he was sent

buddy ba-ker then had the lead un-til his en-gine blew

a.j. foyt came from the rear, then his en-gine went, too

both the lea-ders hit the wall

rich-ard pet-ty slid, then stalled

dav-id pear-son’s hopes looked gone

but his en-gine was still on

stepped down on the gas and passed that rich-ard pet-ty crew

they pushed his dodge - to po-si-tion two

bo-bby all-ison, wal-trip, and yar-bor-ough all fell out

s’the win-ner of the race, was still ve-ry much in doubt

ol’ b.p., boy, he near-ly won two straight five hun-dreds

but a cyl-in-der dropped out, so by him pet-ty sped

both the lea-ders hit the wall

rich-ard pet-ty slid, then stalled

da-vid pear-son’s hopes looked gone

but his en-gine was still on

stepped down on the gas and passed that rich-ard pet-ty crew

they pushed his dodge - to po-si-tion two

pushed his dodge - to po-si-tion two

the 1990 daytona five hundred

2008-01-14T20:35:00.001-08:00

(to the song “a.m. radio” by everclear)

at day-to-na, nine-teen nine-ty

one hun-dred fif-ty-five cir-cuits led by car num-ber three

like rus-ty wallace’s crew-man once said,

“shoot-in' out earn-hardt’s tire’s only way some-one else wins ins-tead,”

so guess what hap-pened la-ter that day?

white flag: earn-hardt was lea-din’ the way

twelfth time’s the charm, che-ckers in the air

at the start / fin-ish line, earn-hardt’s che-vy was the first there! (NO!)

no, a tire blew so he would lose it to a

guy named derr-ike cope (guy named derr-ike cope)

yeah, who won? wash-ing-to-ni-an cup dri-ver derr-ike cope!

way back - in row twen-ty-two

ham-il-ton and tom-my el-lis had schra-der in their cam-e-ra’s view

ken’s pole: third cons-ec-u-tive year

but a crash on thurs-day put his back-up car in the rear

then watch the ko-di-ak car ride the air

schra-der said, “car’s great, but the dri-ver’s scared”

was runn-ing third at one time, then on lap fif-ty-five

turn two, the eng-ine blew up, en-ding his race that day

dale earn-hardt’s che-vy was stro-ng

led by thir-ty sec-onds all day lo-ng

seemed like no-thin’ could go wro-ng

then a tire blew so he would lose it to a

guy named derr-ike cope (guy named derr-ike cope)

yeah, who won? wash-ing-to-ni-an cup dri-ver derr-ike cope!

his se-ven-ty-sec-ond start

got him a day-to-na crown!

(Ken Squier over instrumental)
“And on the outside it is car - number ten, Derrike Cope! Something amiss on the Earnhardt car! Coming to the line, it’s Labonte pulling up and in an amazing finish - the Whitcomb Racing Team has won it!”

the king, thurs-day, had a great ride

but a tire got him stuck in the grass on the in-side

mike al-ex-an-der al-most spun ear-ly

then he wrecked with rob mor-o-so, par-sons, and kul-wi-cki

dar-rell wal-trip slipped back from a vi-bra-tion

lake speed gam-bled at half-way, but his fuel was im-pa-tient

ter-ry la-bon-te - made a great save

rus-ty wall-ace wound up se-venth place

he star-ted in thir-ty-eighth

way back in thir-ty-eighth

way back in thir-ty-eighth

way-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay

then o-ver bud-dy parr-ott’s ra-dio

“which way to vict’ry lane, man, I don’t know!”

said an excited derr-ike cope!

(instrumental)

un-der cau-tion, hill-in hit earn-hardt real slow

boy, was he un-hap-py

who knew they both would lose it to a guy named derr-ike cope?

who won? wash-ing-to-ni-an cup dri-ver derr-ike cope

who won? wash-ing-to-ni-an cup - derr-ike cope - stole the show

led five laps, star-ted out-side the sixth row

derr-ike cope - stole the show

led five laps, was his first top-five al-so

derr-ike cope - stole the show

led five laps, in his or-ange car one-oh

derr-ike cope - stole the show

led five laps, brett bo-dine won wilkes-bo-ro

derr-ike cope - stole the show

led five laps, star-ted out-side the sixth row

derr-ike cope—

the 1995 daytona five hundred

2008-01-07T17:42:00.000-08:00

(to the song “flirtin’ with disaster” by molly hatchet)

**Congratulating Sterling Marlin on his Induction into the Tennessee Sports Hall of Fame!**

earn-hardt sure made a run, but ster-lin’s car was fas-ter

four tires and tape both helped a lot, but could-n’t help him get past ster!

now ster-ling mar-lin - joins rich-ard pe-tty and cale yar-bo-rough

as the on-ly three guys who won this race two years in a row
ten cau-tions spelled dis-as-ter, and it came ear-ly

nem-e-chek wrecked a-lone, bad luck a-gain, rus-ty

steve kin-ser’s race was short, a shame, so was his sea-son

(a) ci-gar-ette swerved tri-ckle in-to car thir-ty-three

lap sev-en-ty-one, the race was slowed

two hours of hea-vy rain stopped the show

that race took al-most the whole day

but ster-ling mar-lin won an-y-way

(Ken Squier over instrumental:)
“And the winner of the 1995 Daytona 500 is again Sterling Marlin! What does Dale Earnhardt have to do to win this race?”

(jeff) gor-don’s run-nin’ out front, but he fin-ished a whole lap down

he got some dam-age whileonpitroad, the jack slipped off the ground

in his two hun-dred eigh-teenth start, dale jar-rett won his first pole

but for the se-ven-teenth straight year, earn-hardt left fee-lin’ aw-ful

mus-grave was a fac-tor, steve - gris-som in se-venth

mike wall-ace and jeff pur-vis were in one acc-i-dent

todd bod-ine, dave marc-is and - jer-e-my may-fie-ld

all lost their en-gines, bo-bby la-bon-te wrecked right at the end

a-yeah, lap sev-en-ty-one, the race was slowed

two hours of hea-vy rain stopped the show

that race took al-most the whole day

but ster-ling mar-lin won an-y-way

that’s two-for-two, baby!

that’s somethin’, everybody!

doooah, go ster-lin’!

(Sterling Marlin impression over instrumental, pausing between each sentence:)
Good day f’rus, the team. Oh, man, lemme tell ye. Y’know that ol’ Kodak Chevy run good out thur, real good. Led a ton uh lap, wound up winnin’ the thing ‘gain, how ‘bout that. Sweain’ las’ caution a bi’, di’n need tha’. Earn-hardt got them four fresh tahres ‘n was catchin’ us. Sure looked fast out thur. Uh, real fas’. We come down to tha’ las’ lap, he gainin’ on us, but ah know ah cain’t let ‘im by. I’s able pull away from ‘im off the backstretch, co’in off two. ‘N now, well, uh, here we’are talkin’ t’y’all gain. Good, real good, Mo’an ‘Clure, wa-wanna thank Tony Glover and the crew, Ko-dak, Del-co Remy, uh, Ma’ Tool, AC Spar’ Plug, an’ Chevy, man, go’ah say, this ol’ Mon’e Carlo run good t’day, real good. Bes’ car ah haid at Day-tona. Love com’in here, e’ry year, jus’ runnin’ these plate races, just put that foot down ‘n let’er eat, son! Whew! Man, thi’ feel good! Wann’ say hi t’e’ryone in Tenn’se, we’re bringin’ this here trophy bah home!

mus-grave was a fac-tor, steve - gris-som in se-venth

mike wall-ace and jeff pur-vis were in one acc-i-dent

todd bod-ine, dave marc-is and - jer-e-my may-fie-ld

all lost their en-gines, bo-bby la-bon-te wrecked right at the end

a-yeah, lap sev-en-ty-one, the race was slowed

two hours of hea-vy rain stopped the show

that race took al-most the whole day - buh-buh-buh yeah

but ster-ling mar-lin won an-y-way

the 1989 daytona five hundred

2007-12-31T18:42:00.000-08:00

(to the song “walking on sunshine” by katrina and the waves)

ow!

mmm-yeah

who’s in the nine car? jo-dy rid-ley, ell-i-ott’s wrist hurt

da-vey and phil bark-doll both flipped when they hit back-stretch dirt

kyle petty’s in the biersch-wa-le olds, rick - wil-son’s mad at lake speed

schra-der dom-in-ated, but fate gave his team-mate the lead:

in nine-teen-eigh-ty-nine, whoa-oh

wal-trip’s se-ven-teenth time, whoa-oh

was ick-y shu-ffle time, whoa-oh

his fuel mile-age was good! - hey, al-right now

kul-wick-i al-most could! - hey, yeah

that roo-kie named rick mast’s a-ma-zing, his white che-vy flew

mor-gan shep-herd’s car took an air gun a-way from his crew

old room-mates mike wal-trip and the king - gave each oth-er flat tires - oh-no-no

rus-ty lost four laps, got two back, a bad bear-ing caught fire - oh yeah

in nine-teen-eigh-ty-nine, whoa-oh

wal-trip’s se-ven-teenth time, whoa-oh

was ick-y shu-ffle time, whoa–oa-oh

his fuel mile-age was good! - hey, al-right now

kul-wick-i al-most could! - yeah, oh yeah

his fuel mile-age was good—

(dialogue over instrumental:)

DW: “Oh, I won the Daytona 500, I WON THE DAYTONA 500!”
Mike Joy: “Darrell, how—”
DW: “WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! This—this is the Daytona 500, isn’t it?”
Mike Joy: “You bet it is!”
DW: “—Don’t tell me it isn’t! THANK GOD!”

ron-nie san-ders, char-lie ba-ker, mark mar-tin and bob hil-lin, too

all wrecked and spun, foy-t led some, his sus-pen-sion did not pull through

in eigh-ty-nine, ba-by, oh! - oh, yeah

in eigh-ty-nine, ba-by, oh!

in nine-teen-eigh-ty-nine, whoa-oh

wal-trip’s se-ven-teenth time, whoa-oh

was ick-y shu-ffle time, whoa-oa-oh

his fuel mile-age was good! - hey, al-right now

kul-wick-i al-most could! - close to, close to, close to the end, now

his fuel mile-age was good! - heey yeah, now

kul-wick-i al-most could!—

Karaoke For NASCAR Fans: Imitated, but never duplicated.

the 2004 daytona five hundred

2007-12-24T17:07:00.000-08:00

(to the song “first time” by lifehouse)

(Allen Bestwick over opening instrumental:)
“The legacy continues. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. wins the 46th Daytona 500!”

jar-rett’s back, won the shoot-out

sad-ler had a fast ti-ime

greg won the pole, but changed en-gines

that put him way far be-hi-ind

har-ley j. earl - is so hard to get, ‘cause

earn-hardt got his - (on) try twen-ti-eth, but

for “lit-tle e” - it took him just fi-ive

(the) fi-eld’s strung out, it’s wind-in’ down fast with

stew-art in front, watch him get passed by

earn-hardt, jun-ior, a-lone on the in-si-ide!

scott wim-mer’s third - frank changed the rights, loose

john-ny sau-ter - put mike in flight, but

earn-hardt, jun-ior - won nex-tel’s first pri-ize!

that kid ka-sey kahne left ear-ly

der-rike cope spun one time

roush cars, bur-ton and mar-tin:

their engines blew sky hi-igh

bif-fle was stopped - (for) fast pit road speed, ken

schra-der and green - wrecked with rust-y, and

kurt’s lapped car can’t - help smoke get back by-y

(the) fi-eld’s strung out, it’s wind-in’ down fast with

stew-art in front, watch him get passed by

earn-hardt, jun-ior, a-lone on the in-si-ide!

scott wim-mer’s third - frank changed the rights, loose

john-ny sau-ter - put mike in flight, but

earn-hardt, jun-ior - won nex-tel’s first pri-ize!

too bad, this

(is) the on-ly song

a-bout jun-ior

all sea-son long!

(the) fi-eld’s strung out, it’s wind-in’ down fast with

stew-art in front, boy, watch him get passed by

earn-hardt, jun-ior, a-lone on the in-si-ide!

scott wim-mer’s third - frank changed the rights, loose

john-ny sau-ter - put mike in flight, but

earn-hardt, jun-ior - won nex-tel’s first pri-ize!

earn-hardt, jun-ior - won nex-tel’s first pri-ize!

earn-hardt, jun-ior - won nex-tel’s first pri-ize!

**Merry Christmas, NASCAR Nation!**

the 1979 daytona five hundred

2007-12-17T17:25:00.000-08:00

(to the song “i fought the law” by the clash)

white flag’s out, it’s the - last one!

don-nie and cale led, but - they both spun

up in turn three, they sure - hit a ton

that late wreck en-ded both of - their great runs

king rich-ard’s first, wal-trip’s - in sec-ond

watch cale take on both the - al-i-sons!

pole-si-tter ba-ker’s eng-ine - ex-plo-ded

next year, he’d have more fun

tighe scott and geoff bo-dine both - made a bid

don-nie and cale led, but - they both spun

up in turn three, they sure—

(Ken Squier’s call over instrumental:)
“Donnie Allison throws the block! Cale hits him! Donnie Allison slides! They hit again! They fly up the turn! They’re hitting the wall! They’re head-on into the wall! They slide down to the inside! The first place cars, they’re out of it!

Coming down, Richard Petty - is now pulling out in front, Darrell Waltrip is in second, A.J. Foyt is in third. Here they come, Waltrip trying to slingshot, Petty is out in front! At the line, Waltrip to the inside! Petty wins it!”

ter-ry la-bon-te caused - a cau-tion

don-nie and cale led, but - they both spun

up in turn three, they sure - hit a ton

a-nother wreck caught da-vid pear-son

don-nie and cale led, but - they both spun

up in turn three, they sure - hit a ton

both cale and donnie spun out - ear-ly on

then climbed up back in front

fin-al lap sling-shot turned out - ve-ry wrong

don-nie and cale led, but - they both spun

up in turn three, they sure—

(More Ken Squier over instrumental)
“There’s a fight - between Cale Yarborough and Donnie Allison! The tempers - overflowing, they’re angry, they know they have lost. And what a bitter defeat.”

don-nie and cale led, but - they both spun

up in turn three, they sure - hit a ton

king rich-ard’s first, wal-trip’s - in sec-ond

watch cale take on both the - al-i-sons!

don-nie and cale led, but - they both spun

up in turn three, they sure - hit a ton

king rich-ard’s first, wal-trip’s - in sec-ond

watch cale take on both the—

the 1988 daytona five hundred

2007-12-10T17:42:00.000-08:00

(to the song “we’re an american band” by grand funk railroad)

de-but of res-tric-tor plates

slow-est pole since se-ven-ty-eight

“bee-one bom-ber” won the clash

thurs-day, the king wrecked, so he is in the back

rick wil-son - fought knee pain

d.w.’s twin - led the whole thang

ro-bert yates’ crew - worked all night

they fixed some damage, did they win, uh no, not quite:

da-vey can’t get ‘round his dad

boy, what a bat-tle they had!

watch rich-ard pe-tty fly

no brok-en bones this time

great news, ‘cause that sure looked bad!

(instrumental)

mark mar-tin’s roush car, the eng-ine blew

con-nie say-lor spun out, then out his wind-shield flew

such a shame, flat’s to blame, yar-borough is out

gant ran near the front, but then wrecked out some-how

well, neil and buddy, they sure look fast

earn-hardt’s near the lead, had a tire go flat

dar-rell

wal-trip moved - watch him re-bound

but the al-a-ba-ma gang got back a-round:

da-vey can’t get ‘round his dad

boy, what a bat-tle they had!

watch rich-ard pe-tty fly

no brok-en bones this time

great news, ‘cause that sure looked bad!

the lead the all-i-sons grabbed

davey just lost by a tad

first time since in six-ty

with rich-ard pet-ty and lee

that a son followed his dad!

(Ken Squier’s call over instrumental)
“The Alabama Gang has conquered the Daytona 500! Bobby Allison in first, his son, Davey, in second. What a tremendous family performance in this, the 30th Running of the Great American Race!”

da-vey can’t get ‘round his dad

boy, what a bat-tle they had!

watch rich-ard pe-tty fly

no brok-en bones this time

great news, ‘cause that sure looked bad!

da-vey can’t get ‘round his dad

boy, what a bat-tle they had!

watch rich-ard pe-tty fly

no brok-en bones this time

great news, ‘cause that sure looked bad!

da-vey can’t get ‘round his dad

boy, what a bat-tle they had!

da-vey can’t get ‘round his dad—

every week is speedweeks!

2007-12-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

To celebrate the Daytona 500's golden anniversary, I will now be posting all-new Classic Daytona 500 reviews for the next several weeks starting this Monday, December 10! This eight-to-nine week series will be topped off with KFNF’s 100th Song, the 2008 Budweiser Shootout, on Monday, February 11, and the 50th Daytona 500 the following week on Monday, February 19.

And be sure to keep tuning in to “Doin’ Donuts” with Dennis and Lori on RaceTalkRadio.com every Monday night to catch all my latest performances from “Karaoke For NASCAR Fans!”

the 2007 nextel cup series championship (controversy edition)

2007-12-03T17:31:00.000-08:00

(to the song “is she really going out with him” by joe jackson)

(two) thou-sand sev-en be-gan with some-thin’ in mi-key’s en-gine

mo-tor-ola, nas-car says, can’t spon-sor rob-by’s team

the c.o.t. - (tee!) - ug-ly, fuel pumps broke and harv-ick’s - door foam burned

said was twice sent home by rain, need to fix qual-i-fy-ing

jim-mie john-son won the cup a-gain!

why were on-ly two hen-drick cars in the fight?!

with gordon’s six wins and john-son’s ten

this wasn’t an ea-sy sea-son, i’m run-nin’ out-ta songs o-ver he-re!

ve-gas and bris-tol’s new ban-king each left ma-ny mixed fee-lings

at at-lan-ta, wa-ter made its way in-to rac-ing fuel

back at kan-sas - (is!) - this was bow-yer’s, bif-fle slowed way too fast

jeff gor-don dis-a-greed with jacques vill-e-neuve’s ‘de-ga de-but

(what) the hell hap-pened to e.s.p.n.?

why did ed-wards fake a punch there in plain sight?

smoke was fined, he skipped a press con-ference

and now on top of it all, it’s the “sprint cup ser-ies” start-in’ next year

next year

a con-spir-a-cy: jun-ior quit, then his en-gines did, too

thanks to bob-by ginn, both mar-lin - and nem-e-chek fell through

is char-lotte lost? - did bru-ton toss - new hamp-shire?

(instrumental)

jim-mie john-son won the cup a-gain!

why were on-ly two hen-drick cars in the fight?!

with gordon’s six wins and john-son’s ten

this wasn’t an ea-sy sea-son, i’m run-nin’ out-ta songs o-ver he-re!

o-ver here

run-nin’ out-ta songs o-ver here

run-nin’ out-ta songs o-ver here

run-nin’ out-ta songs o-ver here

run-nin’ out-ta songs o-ver—

the 2007 craftsman truck series championship

2007-11-26T20:47:00.000-08:00

(to the song “have a nice day” by bon jovi)

sprague and ben-son sling-shot kva-pil at the line

er-ik darnell won a race for the first time

mus-grave was suspended af-ter mil-wau-kee

(brad) kes-elowski’s loss sure was a trav-is-ty

at phoe-nix, an-dy lal-ly took down the pit road wall

da-vid green is back, boy, watch his truck haul!

oh, mike skin-ner had a great sea-son

he racked up six straight poles

but some bad luck re-duced his point lead, then

alongside grand-pa pulled

in the last nine races

lead changed seven times

then when skinner lost a wheel, changed just two tires

the two thou-sand sev-en cham-pi-on was named:

ron horn-a-day

ron horn-a-day-ay-ay

three-wide talladega, but no one caught todd

set-zer won mans-field’s mar-a-thon, poor craw-ford lost

ben-son won at bris-tol, row-dy spun the six

(mc)-cum-bee spun his tires, mus-grave won tex-as

mike bliss a-bout had phoenix, row-dy was too strong

mark mar-tin was spun out back at cal-i-for-nia

oh, mike skin-ner had a great sea-son

five times in vict’ry lane

but at tall-a-dega, too bad what happ-ened

a loose hood was to blame

in the last nine races

lead changed sev-en times

then when skinner lost a wheel, changed just two tires

the two thou-sand sev-en cham-pi-on was named:

ron horn-a-day

ron horn-a-day-ay-ay—

(instrumental)

oh

oh, mike skin-ner had a great sea-son

he racked up six straight poles

but some bad luck re-duced his point lead, then

alongside grand-pa pulled

in the last nine races

lead changed seven times

then when skinner lost a wheel, changed just two tires

the two thou-sand sev-en cham-pi-on was named:

ron horn-a-day

ron horn-a-day-ay-ay

when the laps at home-stead did then wind down

ben-son took that lead, the wall row-dy found

the day—hey! was horn-a-day-ay-ay’s!

ron horn-a-day!

Dedicated to Bobby Hamilton (1957-2007)

the 2007 ford four hundred at homestead

2007-11-19T16:39:00.000-08:00

(to the song "(your love keeps lifting me) higher and higher" by jackie wilson)

now rudd’s - set to re-ti-re

last race for the - old car in this sport

john-son’s up front - (but) not a five-ti-mer

greg won the last three times - but not a fourth:

‘cause at home-stead

matt ken-seth’s on

fi-re

one more for rei-ser

roush pro-mo-ted

-ted rob

and so matt

won one for rei-ser

not once, but twice earn-hardt spun

mar-tin tru-ex - sure - is stu-pid fast

three cars bounced - off - the wall, but no cau-tion

kurt had a vi-bra-tion - but - watch him come back!

while at home-stead

matt ken-seth’s on

fi-re

one more for rei-ser

roush pro-mo-ted

-ted rob

and so matt

won one for rei-ser

(instrumental)

stew-art must - re-paint the wall now

sor-en-son - needs a-no-ther jack

vick-ers joined - sau-ter’s wreck, he got turned ‘round - honey

jim-mie john-son - two back-to-back!

don’t for-get a-bout matt

ken-seth was on

fi-re

one more for rei-ser

roush pro-mo-ted

-ted rob

and so matt

won one for rei-ser—

Fifteen Years Ago Today

2007-11-15T00:50:00.000-08:00

The 1992 Hooters 500 at Atlanta

the 2007 checker auto parts five hundred at phoenix

2007-11-12T17:29:00.000-08:00

(to the song “motownphilly” by boyz II men)

here comes jim-mie yet a-gain

earn-ing his first phoe-nix win

jeff gor-don could-n’t stop

his team-mate, back he dropped

ky-le busch just a-bout swept the week-end

vill-eneuve, car-pen-tier, and hor-nish - hey, all three got in

there’s not much rac-ing (no) it’s way too hard to pass

jun-ior’s loose, spun from his groove, wrecked and ended up in last

carl edwards got the pole for his mot-her’s birth-day

he was really fast, but - his engine then said “no way,” yeah

kenseth and mar-tin truex led, but guess who got thro-ough

can’t believe forty-eight won his fourth straight; what am I s’posed to do?!

here comes jim-mie yet a-gain

his win to-tal’s up to ten

jeff gor-don took a bow

said that it’s ov-er now

(instrumental)

ra-gan’s car flew off the ground, broke his splitter

cut-off - dog-leg - ran-o‘er a cam-era

ka-sey kahne’s wreck sure brought him down

“we sucked” he said, hi-ding a frown

villeneuve’s not clear high, and joe nemecheck spun out two ti-imes

jeff bur-ton’s gas-man was in-jured, i hope he’s o-kay

greg biffle is flyin’ - but was stuck with se-cond place

gordon’s fender rubbed his ti-re, brew-er says he’s do-oomed

forced him in-to the pits, now eighty-six - points are be-tween these two:

here comes jim-mie yet again

earn-ing his first phoe-nix win

jeff gor-don could-n’t stop

his team-mate, back he dropped—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 ford four hundred at homestead

the 2007 dickies five hundred at texas

2007-11-05T15:40:00.001-08:00

(to the song “do you believe in magic?” by the lovin’ spoonful)

johnson just pulled a hat trick

in his kobalt car

that makes him the point leader by just thirty marks

kyle busch had it

but his crew was slow-movin’

then kenseth with two tires stuck to the high groove, when

a.j. started out fifth, truex got his first pole

but that ol’ usg sheet-rock car put-on - a great sho-ow!

stewart ran over harvick,

they waved their hands

kurt’s ol’ “p.t. special” - into someone ran

paul men-ard’s spin-nin’

jeff burton dropped debris

edwards is the busch champ, but sunday was off a kink

jeff gordon’s worried that car just won’t drive

stewart spun off - casey’s twenty-five

(instrumental)

ganassi’s day was manic

a spin took out reed

stremme needs a visit from the ti-re fairy

‘cause pe-tty

and elliott were mad

montoya led, but a - cyl-in-der went bad

hamlin fought hard to get himself in the lead

but he got into the wall off of the kenseth machine, yeah

in johnson’s sec-ond hat trick, yeah

ju-nior ran great early with pa-per on his grille

biff-le climbed out from a car o-il smoke-filled

too bad that bowyer’s flat turned out so costly

oh, back in johnson’s hat trick

johnson just pulled a hat trick

kenseth fought for the lead

in jimmie johnson’s hat trick---

REWIND LINK: the 2006 checker auto parts five hundred at phoenix

the 2007 pep boys auto five hundred at atlanta

2007-10-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

(to the song “somebody’s watching me” by rockwell)

good news, greg biffle fans:

(he) made the bud shootout

montoya blew two tires

stremme twice spun about

gilliland just got a bump, he spun

wadding-up martin

but when petty threw the green,

the king’s hat brought out no caution

kurt and kyle were fast

but couldn’t stop jimmie! (just nine points out of the lead)

whoa-oh-oh truex ran real well

until he hit denny (and his engine burnt his feet)

bobby was ninth, then crashed

kurt ran over joe’s trash

stewart blistered up his hands, oil pressure dropped

and after crashing in qualifying, dave blaney’s toyota stopped

kurt is really good, he’s afraid to pit his car

clint bowyer stayed in the back, but a top-ten was not far

newman dropped a valve and

mayfield crashed his ride

carl and matt’s controversy

each led to top-fives

all while

kurt and kyle were fast

but couldn’t stop jimmie! (both their pit stops made them seethe)

whoa-oh-oh truex ran real well

until he hit denny (in his fuel wa-ter did leak)

(instrumental)

(can’t-stop-jim-mie)

do they have enough fuel? oh, thank you, sauter!

both the busches had slow pit stops!

johnson leads when dale junior wrecks—ends jamie’s race

hey, check out that reed sorenson! - who? - he’s in third place!

kurt and kyle were fast

but couldn’t stop jimmie! (jeff and kyle are so angry!)

whoa-oh-oh truex ran real well

until he hit denny (in his fuel, wa-ter did leak!)

kurt and kyle were fast

but couldn’t stop jimmie! (just nine points out of the lead)

whoa-oh-oh-oh truex ran real well

until he hit denny (kurt said his car’s gargling!)

(can’t-stop-jim-mie)

kurt and kyle were fast

but couldn’t stop jimmie!

whoa-oh-oh truex ran real well

until he hit denny (and his engine burnt his feet)—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 dickies five hundred at texas

the 2007 subway five hundred at martinsville

2007-10-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

(to the song “jessie’s girl” by rick springfield)

there’s one botched reed-start

yeley blew up, his smoke made drivers blind

though bowyer finished ninth, he fell farther behind

jimmie won at martinsville, slowly crossed the finish line

jeff gordon’s third win was in sight

but a lugnut wasn’t tightened, thir-ty-third place

and though gordon worked back up front, he lost the fight

when jimmie johnson won at

martinsville

his third straight win at martinsville

why did the caution end it like that?!

twenty-one cautions slowed the day

aric’s bent-up army car burst into flames

kurt busch broke his splitter after melting his bead

gilliland and jarrett spun, harvick made it in between

truex was spun and spun all day

bent fender for denny hamlin, but did not crash

tony stewart slammed on his brakes, kyle’s in his way

then jimmie johnson won at

martinsville

his third straight win at martinsville

why did the caution end it like that

at martinsville

newman’s second at martinsville

hey, why did david ragan

hey, why did david ragan do that?!

junior banged up his fenders as he climbed

ran great though his car looked ugly

then just like edwards, volts declined

rusty said they need big-ger batteries!

(instrumental)

tell me

why did the caution end it like that?!

(instrumental)

then jimmie johnson won at

martinsville

his third straight win at martinsville

back at martinsville

hey, why did david ragan do that

at martinsville?!

kyle busch’s strong at martinsville

uh-huh back at martinsville

REWIND LINK: the 2006 bass pro shops five hundred at atlanta

the 2007 bank of america five hundred at lowe's

2007-10-15T17:14:00.001-07:00

(to the song “summer of ‘69” by bryan adams)

jeff got his first cup pole there

next - year, won the very first time

in the coke six hundred, then

came into victo-ry lane cryin’

three more cup wins came next

three times he was nascar’s all-star

a teammate - then stole jeff’s thunder

while he - ‘gan wadding-up cars

but things are different now

john-son dom-in-a-ted, but spun out

(and) when jeff sput-tered up front

ry-an newman led and then wrecked

then gordon beat bowyer outright

ju-nior’s car did morse code

ken-seth wrecked his ford times two

harv-ick’s tire, misdiagnosed it

and hamlin’s out of fuel, why?

be-cause things are different now

john-son dom-in-a-ted, but spun out

(and) when jeff sput-tered up front

ry-an newman led and promptly wrecked

then gordon beat bowyer outright

oh yeah

his first charlotte win since ‘99

oh

boy, tony stewart’s ticked

‘cause menard and kahne both

hit him in the pits

like kurt busch, it destroyed his fender - his fender, no!

yeah

(instrumental)

dave, mike, (and) a.j.’s toyotas

had great nights like rudd who’s eleventh

riggs led, but then wrecked with montoya

just like mears, who crashed with elliott

be-cause things are different now

john-son dom-in-a-ted, but spun out

(and) when jeff sput-tered up front

ry-an newman led and promptly wrecked

then gordon beat bowyer outright

oh yeah

his first charlotte win since ‘99

uh-huh

when he beat skinner in ‘99

oh yeah

with brian whitesell in ‘99

oh—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 subway five hundred at martinsville

the 2007 uaw-ford five hundred at talladega

2007-10-08T17:10:00.000-07:00

(to the song “higher ground” by stevie wonder)

(instrumental)

watch out - for vill-eneuve

new car’s - big plate debut

said - just d.n.q.’d

mikey’s pole was surgical!

newman - hit junior’s jack

kyle busch got - warned for bump-drafts

fords - eight stayed way back

bored junior’s talking football!

ju-nior, truex, and jeff burton’s engines blew

and when bobby turned left, he sure took out quite a few

(then when) three hendrick cars swept by roger penske’s two

jimmie johnson ‘bout won

‘til jeff gordon got around

right-front - tires failing

stuffed three cars - in-to the railing

jacques’ not - communicating

petty’s crash had flexed the wall

oh no

ju-nior, truex, and jeff burton’s engines blew

and when bobby turned left, he sure took out quite a few

(then when) three hendrick cars swept by roger penske’s two

jimmie johnson ‘bout won

‘til jeff gordon got around

a pit penalty rebound

led just the last time around

oh no

‘til jeff gordon got around

what a big pit penalty rebound—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 bank of america five hundred at lowe's

the 2007 lifelock four hundred at kansas

2007-10-01T17:38:00.000-07:00

(to the song “still the one” by orleans)

kansas, like dover, left several cars smashed

johnson’s fast - car won the pole, next day did crash

started way in the back - raced up into third

greg biffle slowed - and then bowyer finished first

(but) twelve cautions - watch those chase drivers crash

twice shortened - fifty-seven laps

bowyer’s in the front

but greg biffle won

matt, kurt, and - to-ny led - fought all day

junior dumped ky-le busch on the backstraightaway

burton tugged his fender, off his car cover blows (car cover blows)

earned him a black flag - fuel pressure, where did it go?

(but) twelve cautions - watch those chasers crash

twice shortened - fifty-seven laps

bowyer’s in the front

but greg biffle won

(skies) opened up - a fierce wind blows, smoke

had enough - fuel to cruise to pit road

waiting game’s begun

stewart may have won

past halfway—

(instrumental)

rain, rain, a monsoon’s on its way

after lightning displays

race contin-ued - oooo-oooo-uh

stewart spun - truex, whose toe hurt, watch

smoke come from - his left-front tire’s fender, then

wrecked with carl’s fusion

kurt got damaged some

(matt) had no fun - got in a huge wreck and

poor newman - motor’s blown to heck

bad luck for hamlin

cost him mo-mentum

and

then

twelve cautions - watch chasers crash

twice shortened - fifty-seven laps

bowyer’s in the front

but greg biffle won—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 uaw-ford five hundred at talladega

the 2007 dodge dealers four hundred at dover

2007-09-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

(to the song “right now” by sr-71)

last week, junior and kasey kahne

offered new sponsor names

though both their new cars look lame

at least that’s over

jimmie johnson’s forty-eight

friday, took montoya’s pole late

blew a tire, ran not-so-great

whi-le at dover:

cau-tions - huge wreck, kurt crashed out just for no

re-ason - kenseth’s engine blew, first in two

sea-sons - though his throttle leaked, we just

can’t beat “concrete carl’s” car right now

just can’t right now

“different” matt kenseth’s in the lead

at menard, stewart’s peeved

harvick’s tires won’t agree

with him at dover

bowyer started way out back

then flew up through the pack

but got hit when denny lapped

petty at dover

then kyle swung by to-close den-ny’s visor:

“den-ny - why’d you run me over, you are

los-ing - focus on your cup ride, stop busch

whack-ing - sa-tur-day was cool, but don’t

cost me points when

i need them right now!”

(instrumental)

raines and andretti both wrecked hard

truex is shedding parts

mark’s new d.e.i. car

ran great at dover (great at dover)

cau-tions - huge wreck, kurt crashed out just for no

re-ason - kenseth’s engine blew, first in two

sea-sons - though gordon got him mad, we

can’t beat “concrete carl’s” car right now

just can’t right now

right now

oh

right now—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 banquet four hundred at kansas

the 2007 sylvania three hundred at new hampshire (stunned fan edition!)

2007-09-17T17:12:00.000-07:00

(to the song “no more mr. nice guy” by alice cooper)

andretti got the twenty-sixth spot, but like

hornish missed the show

bad luck kept haunting poor dave blaney

stremme’s car woul-dn’t go

a chariot race cut down riggs’ tire

kyle’s gambling

poor reed - spun again, harvick bare-ly got by

while in the lead:

bowyer - winless chase guy

bowyer - how did you make it in?

bowyer - twelfth-place points guy’s now fourth

hear him - yell “way too tight,” then win!

(instrumental)

stewart, gordon, and newman tried two tires

but clint got by

nice try - gordon’s good five hundredth cup start

six seconds shy

(of) bowyer - winless chase guy

bowyer - how did you make it in?

bowyer - twelfth-place points guy’s now fourth

hear him - yell “way too tight,” then win!

hamlin’s mad because no one could pass while

kenseth gained all those spots

edwards started eleventh in a backup:

twelfth when che-ckers dropped

schrader got grass - on his splitter

then bumped ward burton ha-rd

and then as harvick - tried to slow clint

childress was in mongolia

watching

bowyer - winless chase guy

bowyer - how did you make it in?

bowyer - twelfth-place points guy’s now fourth

hear him - yell “way too tight,” then win!

bowyer - winless chase guy

bowyer - how did you make it in?

bowyer - twelfth-place points guy’s now fourth

hear him - yell “way too tight,” then win!

“too tight,” then win!

“too tight,” then win!

whoo!

REWIND LINK: the 2006 dover four hundred at dover

the 2007 chevy rock 'n roll four hundred at richmond

2007-09-10T17:28:00.000-07:00

(to the song “what becomes of the brokenhearted” by jimmy ruffin)

on car thirty-one, still at&t

chip looks to hire mr. franchitti

doug yates will step - in for robert next year

yeley will say, “it’s the mirrors”

at richmond, would earnhardt make it in?

no, instead a fifth blown engine

johnson first crossed the line

cut for commercial time

baby

greg biffle got trampled by “donkeys”

riggs, nemecheck, and robby melted beads

kyle busch’s car: a piece of you-know-what

edwards blew up while way out front

clint bowyer spun out going for first

hamlin’s car shut off while quenching his thirst

kurt got rear-ended, montoya, the hitter

kevin’s too hot, mowed grass with his splitter

at richmond, would earnhardt make it in?

no, instead a fifth blown engine

johnson first crossed the line

cut for commercial time

baby

stewart, at last, had fixed his setup

though ragan hit the wall, boy, watch him climb up

second red flag came with mcmurray’s wall plow

twenty to go, harvick’s in, junior’s out

back at richmond, would earnhardt make it in?

no, instead a fifth blown engine

johnson first crossed the line

cut for commercial time

david ragan finished third

fifth place was johnny sauter

gilliland slowed, reed just crashed

petty and a.j. both clashed

kenseth’s grille had no debris

there’s smoke from andretti—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 sylvania three hundred at new hampshire

the 2007 sharp aquos five hundred at california

2007-09-03T14:11:00.000-07:00

(to the song “you took the words right out of my mouth (hot summer night) by meat loaf)

it was too hot sunday night and the sun was blindin’

ricky rudd made his nine-hundredth start

the diamondbacks bought hall of fame, fatback’s set for retirin’

and kyle busch just leaked gibbs will run toyota cars

oh, kurt busch made the shootout just by one one-thousandth

junior ain’t got no choice but to race

and though montoya collided with carl edwards, don’t ask how

carl had a great night

and then he wound up back in second

wound up back in second

wound up finishing second place

oh ryan newman led once, spun and then blew up

mike waltrip ignited, good thing he climbed out

but with one race ‘til twelve battle for the cup

who will they be? - there is little doubt:

‘cause jimmie johnson’s back in victory lane now

won fontana though kyle busch wan-ted to lead

junior’s fifth-place was all fate allowed

boy, he sure tried hard

‘cause he drove the salt out of his bud car (bud car)

‘cause jimmie johnson’s back in victory lane now

won fontana though kyle busch wan-ted to lead

junior’s fifth-place was all fate allowed

boy, he sure tried hard

‘cause he drove the salt out of his bud car (bud car)

elliott sadler and yeley spun out but both hit nothin’

joe nemechek’s engine broke in eight laps

bo-bby might just be back, while who slowed fast? - reed sorenson

robby ran near the front, until he wrecked with bowyer

(fen)der ‘dretti destroyed ‘er

biffle needed to change a spring

too bad “improve-imann” ran as high as seventh:

a late wreck tweaked his poor camry’s face

‘cause gordon got mayfield spun which turned out unpleasant

ricky rudd hit the wall

the contact seemed to leave his shoulder in pain

but jimmie johnson’s back in victory lane now

won fontana though kyle busch wan-ted to lead

junior’s fifth-place was all fate allowed

boy, he sure tried hard

‘cause he drove the salt out of his bud car (bud car)

‘cause jimmie johnson’s back in victory lane now

won fontana though kyle busch wan-ted to lead

junior’s fifth-place was all fate allowed

boy, he sure tried hard

‘cause he drove the salt out of his bud car (bud car)

‘cause jimmie johnson’s back in victory lane now (kyle busch wan-ted to take the
lead)

oh, that johnson’s back in victory lane now (kyle busch wan-ted to take the lead)

mmm, that johnson’s back in victory lane now (kyle busch wan-ted to take the lead)

oh, that johnson’s back in victory lane now (kyle busch wan-ted to take the lead)

oh, that johnson’s back in victory lane now (kyle busch wan-ted to take the lead)

oh, that johnson’s back in victory lane now (kyle busch wan-ted to take the lead)

oh, oh, yeah—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 chevy rock 'n roll four hundred at richmond

the 2007 sharpie five hundred at bristol (special edition)

2007-08-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

(to the song “takin’ care of business” by bachman-turner overdrive)

(humid) hundred-degree weather

brand-new concrete’s better

bristol’s big card stunt kicked-off the evenin’

sponsorless jeff burton car

while outside pole was montoya

kasey’s out front, hoped for weekend sweepin’

the green flag got called off

poor andretti’s dodge just coughed

then when it started, boy watch that nine go!

held off junior most the night

‘til someone else joined the fight

the guy sponsored by office depot!

and that’s why

carl’s back to flippin’ - bristol night

ragan kept on spinnin’ - loose, not tight and while

kahne tried hard to win it - he got by

carl’s back to flippin’ - robby spun ‘cross the line, look out!

(instrumental)

racing’s great, but few cautions

some broke loose, but they caught ‘em

‘til sauter’s hit near-ly caught kasey

hamlin spun in his own oil

his d.n.f. streak was foiled

running a solid top-ten was labonte

gordon got the lucky dog

then the racing groove got clogged

‘cause ricky rudd spun out in turn two

kenseth hit johnson, who slowed

watch matt’s radiator blow

waltrip bumped jeff, off his bumper flew

and that’s why

carl’s back to flippin’ - bristol night

ragan kept on spinnin’ - loose, not tight and while

kahne tried hard to win it - he got by

carl’s back to flippin’ - robby spun ‘cross the line—

(instrumental)

**BONUS MATERIAL**
My Photos From Bristol!
My Videos From Bristol!

(kevin) harvick forced a replay

knocked montoya sideways

missing lug dropped truex through the field

both a.j. and almirola

got their brand-new cars all torn up

a debris - caution was revealed

clint bowyer finished third

sadler brushed the wall, which hurt:

because he was forced to pit under green

stewart tried to make some moves

though the penske cars improved

the win went to a roush-fenway team

and that’s why

carl’s back to flippin’ - bristol night

ragan kept on spinnin’ - loose, not tight and while

kahne tried hard to win it - he got by

carl’s back to flippin’ - robby spun ‘cross the line—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 sony hd five hundred at california

the 2007 three-m performance four hundred at michigan

2007-08-21T18:41:00.000-07:00

(to the song “glory days” by bruce springsteen)

**KFNF’s 75th SONG!**

who knew junior would have to change his car number - and fan’s tattoos?

kyle busch will join gibbs next year - but where will yeley move, boy?

both johnson and gordon got their - crew chiefs back

and for ricky rudd, this year - will be it

mccumbee is back, kyle’s mad, broke his hand

but the weather was the pits!

on sunday

well, it rained too hard

then monday

even worse, no one raced their cars

so we raced

on tuesday

well, when the fog fin’lly chose to lift

the race ‘gan with montoya’s daring spin

jeff’s tires, just like robby’s, were too old, so he fell back

then broke his “shark fin” like newman

and though - gordon’s pit crew, fixed it up quick

poor newman went one lap down, heck;

friday, mike waltrip climbed into eleventh

but he spun and nearly missed contact when he got - neme-wrecked!

on sunday

well, it rained too hard

then monday

even worse, no one raced their cars

so they raced

on tuesday

(instrumental)

whoo!

vickers drove right up to the - wall like junior, very loose

martin and menard blew

and when kurt was racin’ matt they both dusted poor jimmie johnson

his pit box, dale slid through

a late caution came, kurt and jeff stayed out

kenseth spun jeff, who got stuck

biffle forced overtime, truex fought hard to catch kurt, but

kurt busch was too tough!

on sunday

well, it rained too hard

then monday

even worse, no one raced their cars

so they raced

on tuesday

well, it rained too hard

then monday

even worse, no one raced their cars

so they raced

on tuesday—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 sharpie five hundred at bristol

the paul menard song

2007-08-20T17:21:00.000-07:00

(to the song “yellow submarine” by the beatles)

**due to rain, KFNF's michigan review lyrics will be posted tomorrow night!**

with sideburns like arrington

in a car colored like cautions

drives a man, last name menard

c’mon, you know his first, it’s not that hard!

the rookie driving chevrolets

who’s not juan, ragan, reut, smith, nor a.j.

turns twenty-seven tomorrow morn

and marlin’s owner points, last month he scored

this song’s for paul menard’s forgotten team (who?)

bright-colored machine (who?)

yellow car fifteen

don’t forget ‘bout the third d.e.i. team (who?)

bright-colored machine (who?)

yellow car fifteen

last year, he won milwaukee

the best non-buschwhacker of his series

got a top-ten once in cup—

this song’s for paul menard’s forgotten team (who?)

bright-colored machine (who?)

yellow car fifteen

don’t forget ‘bout the third d.e.i. team (who?)

bright-colored machine (who?)

yellow car fifteen

(sound effects)

in eau claire, menard’s life leads

to wisconsin, the land of cheese

so next time you see his face

sing the following, then watch him race:

this song’s for paul menard’s forgotten team (who?)

bright-colored machine (who?)

yellow car fifteen

don’t forget ‘bout the third d.e.i. team (who?)

bright-colored machine (who?)

yellow car fifteen—

the 2007 centurion boats at the glen

2007-08-13T13:35:00.000-07:00

(to the song "on the road again" by willie nelson)

friday at watkins glen

ambrose in robby’s seventy-se’en

rain came and sent marcos home with boris said

then elliott let said race up at the glen

sunday at the glen

off the course twice was david ragan

newman plowed gravel, but his splitter won’t bend

and hamlin kept off-roadin’ at the glen

later at the glen

martin truex spun montoya into kevin

(they) pushed and shouted when

rusty awaited a fight, nothing happened - happened

red flag at the glen

watch that fan climb up over the fence

matt wouldn’t sign his hat although he had a pen

boy, what a crazy day up at the glen!

(dialogue between Matt Kenseth and the fan over instrumental)
FAN: "Hey, can you sign this?"
MATT: "Uh—"
FAN: "Aw, come on, man, it’ll only take a sec. I got a pen."
MATT: "I-I’m kind of busy right now."
FAN: "Busy doing what? It’s a red flag. You got a PSP in there or somethin’?"
MATT: "Look, why don’t you bother Robby or something. Everyone wants his this week."
FAN: "I can’t, this guy bet me thirty bucks you’d sign his truckers hat and I ain't gettin’ nothin’ if you don’t sign it."
MATT: "Hey, buddy, I’m really trying to forget how bad I have to pee right now, can you leave me alone, please?"
FAN: "Oh, okay, I see how it is. By the way, good job missing Menard there up in the Esses."
MATT: "Jerk."

that day at the glen

ron fellows got fourth and pat carpentier led

junior’s good again

but lost ground to kurt: his engine exploded - exploded

but then at the glen

jeff gordon won, no, it was smoke again

jeff led all day but "pushed too hard" into a spin

then edwards ran off course up in turn ten

and so tony won again at the glen

REWIND LINK: the 2006 gfs marketplace four hundred at michigan

tribute: j.d. mcduffie

2007-08-08T03:15:00.001-07:00

This Sunday, Johnny Sauter will race his Haas Automation Chevrolet in this year’s running of the Centurion Boats at the Glen. It will be the first time in sixteen years that a car bearing the number 70 will have competed in a NASCAR Nextel Cup race at Watkins Glen’s 2.45-mile road course. While that statistic may seem hardly worth noting in its own right, one need only look back to who carried the 70 during that race in 1991 to realize it begs not only a mention of who raced it, but a tribute. As the NASCAR community continues to honor the lives of Bobby Hamilton, Benny Parsons, and Bill France, Jr. this season, I suggest we also take a moment to remember J.D. McDuffie.

Sadly, few of NASCAR’s newest fans know about J.D. McDuffie, a man whose career was not blessed with the same glamor and extravagance enjoyed by today’s superstars. Others recall him as little more than a statistic, his name welded by tragedy to the cold, emotionless fact that he ran the most-ever races in NASCAR’s top series of any winless driver. Yet for those whom he touched, J.D. McDuffie left behind more than enough memories to remember him by, many more than this or any other tribute can do justice.

In a career which spanned twenty-eight seasons from the days of Petty and Pearson in the mid-sixties to those of Earnhardt and Wallace in the early nineties, Sanford, North Carolina’s John Delphus “J.D.” McDuffie chugged along in his own number 70 through 653 races as a driver in NASCAR’s elite division. An independent in every sense of the word, McDuffie not only owned, raced, and worked on his own car, but personally ferried it from track to track on an open flatbed trailer he affectionately named “Ol’ Blue.” Like other owner-drivers of his time, the few cars McDuffie had at his disposal were themselves rolling underdogs, cars powered by secondhand parts his more well-funded competitors had cast aside. No matter how worn-out the parts were, however, McDuffie possessed an almost magical ability to make them work just one more time.

Even as the cars, competition, and indeed the sport continued to change around the greying racer, J.D. McDuffie remained a recurring reminder of the same rough-and-tumble era of NASCAR’s genesis toward which Brian France has shown little regard. As the art of the pit stop rose to new levels of complexity, McDuffie still relied on shoestring crews to pit his car, hiring people around the area whenever he made the big show. While owners like Rick Hendrick and Junior Johnson were courting mainstream sponsors, McDuffie continued to make the most of the support provided by his loyal fraternity of lesser-known sponsors, mom-and-pop stores with names like Rumple Furniture, Run-A-Bout, Classic Trophies, Medford Speed, and Son’s Auto Supply.

Like other drivers from NASCAR’s formative years, McDuffie even had a curious eccentricity which affirmed his unfiltered blue-collar charm. What Dave Marcis is to his wingtip shoes and Tim Flock was to “Jocko,” the pet monkey he let ride in his race car, J.D. McDuffie was to enjoying a good cigar. Not only was the veteran often seen smoking one in the garage area as he tuned up his weary engine for race day, but he would even duct-tape several more cigars onto his dashboard to enjoy during the race. A good race, McDuffie was known to say, would be one during which he smoked them all, for that would mean he had finished the race under power.

Though it is true that he never won a Winston Cup race, J.D. McDuffie was never one to complain, and even as the odds for success grew worse, he still reveled in the sheer joy of competition as the lighthearted David among a growing number of Goliaths. For his determination, McDuffie was as much a respected competitor in the garage area as he was a beloved fan favorite in the stands. As such, the day McDuffie hoisted his lone Busch Pole award at Dover in 1978 is as well-documented as any victory ever scored by his competitors, the wily veteran beaming that he had just qualified for the inaugural pole winner’s race, then known as the Busch Clash at Daytona, in 1979. In all, given the length of his career in such drastically-changing times, McDuffie was a man who truly exemplified the words of fellow owner-driver Dave Marcis as a driver who “could do almost anything with nothing.”

It was for all this and more that McDuffie’s untimely passing at Watkins Glen was so tragic.

On August 11, 1991, sixteen years ago Saturday, J.D. McDuffie died in a wreck during the opening laps of the Budweiser at the Glen. Just five laps into the event, a catastrophic brake failure sent McDuffie’s Pontiac hurtling off the backstretch and into turn five’s tire-covered steel guardrail, killing him instantly. He was 52.

Sixteen years later in an interview with ESPN, Darrell Waltrip was correct in saying that the NASCAR schedule leaves no room for celebrating the best of times, much less grieving the worst. Like a leaf carried down a stream, drivers and fans alike are powerless against the sheer momentum of the sport, anticipating the next lap, the next race, the next season with equal ferocity. What Waltrip failed to mention, however, is how grief can achieve momentum of its own, momentum so subtle and powerful that it can steer the sport in a different direction without anyone realizing it. Such was the case after the loss of J.D. McDuffie.

In the space of just two seasons, veterans Phil Barkdoll, James Hylton, and Jimmy Means, who was also involved in McDuffie’s fatal accident, would run their last races as owner-drivers. Darrell Waltrip's own owner-driver team followed suit in 1998. Some said money was the issue, others pointed to the rise of multi-car teams, but what was strange was neither ever seemed to stop them before. Not when McDuffie was around. Even the Cinderella season of Alan Kulwicki in 1992, a driver whose career was also cut short by tragedy, only delayed the decline of independent teams to the point that even Dave Marcis retired in 2002. The days of the owner-driver seemed to be all but gone.

Yet, despite - or perhaps in spite - of the odds, Robby Gordon still chose to leave Richard Childress Racing to re-open his owner-driver Cup team in 2005, the Californian standing alone in tribute to the independents of NASCAR’s past. Ironically, one possible reason that Gordon decided to return to his roots could date back to that dark August day in 1991.

When word of McDuffie’s passing reached the fans that afternoon, ESPN commentator Bob Jenkins eulogized the veteran the one way no one other than McDuffie seemed to have thought possible: as a winner. Jenkins pointed out that the very night before that tragic day came a special race at the old Shangri-La short track in nearby Owego, New York. It was a celebrity event which highlighted the night’s action, one which pitted members of Richard Childress’ pit crew against none other than J.D. McDuffie. There, under the glare of moth-riddled short track lighting, McDuffie won the event in an utterly surreal fashion with open race track all around him. Never before or since has the figure of McDuffie, nor of NASCAR’s owner-drivers in general, been captured so poignantly. It was not until after this tribute, after McDuffie was shown enjoying the spoils of his hard-earned victory with his family, that the Watkins Glen event was restarted with Ernie Irvan taking the checkered flag.

It is after mentioning this tribute again that I leave you, the reader, with just one request. When you see Robby Gordon race against Johnny Sauter’s number 70 this weekend - particularly as they negotiate the “bus stop” installed on the course in response to the events of August 11, 1991 - take a moment to not only remember J.D. McDuffie, but be sure to remember him as the man, not the statistic.

(sources include greg fielden, duane falk, and the readers at racing-reference.info; special thanks to bryan hallman for the above photo of j.d. mcduffie’s number 70 at north wilkesboro in the spring of 1991 and the mcduffie family for supplying the photo of mcduffie for fielden's "forty plus four" book)

the 2007 pennsylvania five hundred at pocono

2007-08-06T17:54:00.000-07:00

(to the song "footloose" by kenny loggins)

robby gordon - got parked

he’s mad at - nascar

‘mazing what - happened

can’t wait ‘til watkins glen!

the pocono pole:

junior’s first since late oh-two

in june, the rain stole

hamlin’s win, then penske’s crew—

gave their driver a boost

that blue deuce

kurt busch, away he flew!

see - jamie

spin all day, he’s too free

juan - said on

t.v. "race is too long"

news - bad news:

nobody can catch that deuce!

(instrumental)

edwards had - refueled

the wrong way - crew got fooled

he got his lap back, then spun reed

vickers, david, jamie wrecked

early on, number eight - handled so bad that it spun

but after a shock change - he led and just about won

he had fun, but got passed by that deuce

that blue deuce

kurt busch, away he flew!

oh, wow - man, how’d

kyle not wreck his car now?!

a - fuel pump

stopped jarrett’s toyota

news - bad news

nobody can catch that deuce!

(instrumental)

twelfth and thirteenth switched around

kurt’s in, for now, junior’s out

"the beer war’s" heating up—

their margin reduced!

blue deuce

kurt busch, away he flew!

see - jamie

spin all day, he’s too free

juan - said on

t.v. "race is too long"

news - bad news:

nobody can catch that deuce!

blue deuce

kurt busch, away he flew!

oh, wow - man, how’d

kyle not wreck his car now?!

a - fuel pump

stopped jarrett’s toy-ota

news - bad news

dale junior can’t, ‘cause nobody can

denny hamlin can’t, ‘cause nobody can

even gordon can’t, ‘cause nobody can

‘cause nobody

nobody can catch that deuce!

REWIND LINK: the 2006 amd at the glen

the 2007 allstate four hundred at the brickyard

2007-07-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

(to the song "mountain dew" by grandpa jones)

oh, sunday at indy

who’s on pole? it was reed!

juan montoya ‘longside in p-two

both ran well through the end

but someone won there again

the guy who loves them burgers at d.q.!

smoke just won his brickyard number two

kept harvick’s elvis car in his view

"here, kitty, kitty"

he said, then took the lead

and won - brickyard number two!

poor ray evernham

testing messed up his plans

kahne wrecked out early - sadler, too

bad luck for bobby ginn

abandoned mark martin

with a gearbox with one too few!

who thought a tire pop

would again crash and stop

johnson, whose fender had been skewed?

though he did ignite

thankfully, right out he climbed

he can’t wait ‘til chad’s suspension is through!

(instrumental)

gum-be-gum-gum-be-gumby-gum!

ju-nior started out great

reporting from his eight

when he hit a big strip firmly-glued

staying in the top-five

kept his win hopes alive

then, what a shame, his engine blew!

(instrumental)

well, hamlin got mad

a great run, he, too, had

that last stop sure knocked him for a loop

lost a lap when his car stalled

under green, that’s not all:

his teammate got brickyard number two!

smoke just won his brickyard number two

kept harvick’s elvis car in his view

"here, kitty, kitty"

he said, then took the lead

and won - brickyard number two!

REWIND LINK: the 2006 pennsylvania five hundred at pocono

the 2000 napa five hundred at atlanta (excited fan edition!)

2007-07-23T17:25:00.000-07:00

(to the song "caught up in you" by .38 special)

*welcome back, espn!*

remember that november day

when the e.s.p.n. crew

broadcast atlanta on monday

and said, “after this, we’re through”

it - was like bidding farewell to a friend

like - darrell waltrip, whose career would end

but who knew we’d salute a

new winner, too?

the day jerry nadeau - finally won

he earned all of his first victory

from second, he flew - past ward burton

but then had to hold off earnhardt’s chevy

who got p-two - in the points

while bobby labonte had got the - title homestead week

jeff gordon’s rainbow car on pole

next season would have bright flames

scott wimmer’s first cup start unfolds

his arca race had been rained

out - mayfield lost an engine real fast

mi-chael - waltrip’s mattei chevy crashed

then poor smoke, his car broke when a tire blew

the day jerry nadeau - finally won

he earned all of his first-ever victory

from second, he flew - past ward burton

but then had to hold off earnhardt’s chevy

who got p-two - in the points

‘cause bobby labonte had got the - title homestead week

through the day - the top five

had dave blaney’s amoco ride, but no

late damage was costly

mike skinner put - four tires on

but most took two that last caution, and so

did bobby labonte

the day jerry nadeau—

(Bob Jenkins’ call over instrumental:)
“Back in March of ‘81, Darrell Waltrip took the checkered flag to win the very first race that we televised on ESPN. And in November of 2000—Jerry Nadeau wins the final race on ESPN! It is his first Winston Cup win in his 103rd race, the fourth first-time winner of 2000, and the 14th different winner this year, tying a mark set in 1991. . .”

and watch wally dallenbach

pull a three-sixty on the track, then go

this excited b.p.!

the day jerry nadeau - finally won

he earned all of his first-ever victory

from second, he flew - past ward burton

but then had to hold off earnhardt’s chevy

who got p-two - in the points

‘cause bobby labonte had got the - title homestead week

when nadeau

who earned all of his first-ever victory

from second, he flew - past ward burton

but then had to hold off earnhardt’s chevy

who got p-two - in the points

‘cause bobby labonte had got - the day jerry nadeau—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 allstate four hundred at the brickyard

the 2007 usg sheetrock four hundred at chicagoland

2007-07-16T21:29:00.000-07:00

(to the song “working for the weekend” by loverboy)

chicago race day, was hot, the track was slick

casey mears up front was quick - oh

paul menard blew up - reutimann’s car expired

(but) one other driver sure was on fire - at the wire:

finally, stewart won something this season

finally, tony got to climb a fence

tony wrecked his third plate car last weekend

but a clone of his best car won next! - oh

in second place was johnson

then came a tire explosion

though harvick led quite a ways

he sure often compl-ained!

(instrumental)

dale’s power steering, like budweiser, was through

blaney and jamie crashed in turn two

bowyer and truex - on pit road got caught

clint finished top-ten, martin did not!

finally, stewart won something this season

finally, tony got to climb a fence - yeah-yeah-eahah-ha!

kenseth tried, but just could not quite beat him

with armpit ads for deodorant! - ugh!

martin said he won’t forget

the day his primary wrecked

newman’s fender, although tweaked

got its best run in five weeks!

(instrumental)

hey—

in second place was johnson

then came a tire explosion

though harvick led quite a ways

he sure often compl-ained!

martin said he won’t forget

the day his primary wrecked

newman’s fender, although tweaked

got its best run in five weeks!—

the 2007 pepsi four hundred at daytona (excited fan edition!)

2007-07-09T18:32:00.000-07:00

(to the song "reach for the sky" by social distortion)

**congratulations, jamie mcmurray! this one's for you!**

where were you back in late two thousand two

when jamie won his first cup race?

for me, i was at oakland’s airport

with disbelief on my face

after one hundred sixty-five races had gone

black flag: twenty-six: jamie passed gordon wrong

he stopped under green, caught a well-timed caution

then raced up through the pack until jamie

won daytonaaa-a-aaaa-a

kyle busch was strong, but mcmurray won daytonaaa-a-aaaa-a

a five-thousandth gap which, for jamie, was just enough!

boris said’s pole washed away

sprint cup’s coming two thousand eight

t.n.t.’s "full-throttle" breaks

told me those truck commercials aren’t fake!

little e took a ride

watch two gibbs cars collide

montoya climbed

o’er bob labonte’s side

scott riggs broke down, harvick kissed the backstretch wall

stremme got hit, but mcmurray

won daytonaaa-a-aaaa-a

kahne finished ninth with some damage at daytonaaa-a-aaaa-a

a five-thousandth gap which, for jamie, was just enough!

(instrumental)

Off of turn four for the final time, it’s still Busch and McMurray locked side-by-side for the lead and the win of the Pepsi 400 at Daytona! Busch squeezes high, he comes down to the inside of the tri-oval. Now, here comes McMurray back to the outside! Edwards is right behind on the outside, he wants to push him to the victory! Kurt Busch drops back! Checkered flag’s in the wind, they’re dead-even at the front! Who’s gonna win it?!

jamie was right ‘bout sleight-of-hand

when kahne pulled that one rabbit trick

but now we need a new ad

‘cause when he won, boy, was magic!

mcmurray wooo-o-oooo-on

kyle busch was strong, but mcmurray won daytonaaa-a-aaaa-a

bowyer led a lot, still mcmurray won daytonaaa-a-aaaa-a

kurt nearly scored, but mcmurray won daytonaaa-a-aaaa-a

a five-thousandth gap which, for jamie, was just enough!

REWIND LINK: the 2006 usg sheetrock four hundred at chicagoland

the 2007 lenox industrial tools three hundred at new hampshire

2007-07-02T14:07:00.000-07:00

(to the song “i’m still standing” by sir elton john)

***happy birthday, king richard!***

friday was a toyota day

though vickers’ eighty-three was sent away

still the caterpillar car would start p-one

but sunday was a different tale

‘cause junior ran up front

a broken “af-tach” made greg biffle speed

joe nemechek’s tire bounced precariously

mayfield got a two-circuit penalty

and then poor ryan newman clipped an air gun

and dragged it away

and finally

denny hamlin won in the new car this week

even after juan montoya

got his quarter-panel tweaked

denny hamlin: a two-tire stop

and after a twenty-lap battle with truex, gordon lost

lost to hamlin - yeah, yeah, yeah

denny hamlin - yeah, yeah, yeah

stewart shoulda bought a bigger sub

the jeffs burton and green each had a top-ten run

the red sox car had made up so much ground

'til edwards had a buckner’d pit stop

‘cause it was not called foul!

because

denny hamlin won in the new car this week

even after juan montoya

got his quarter-panel tweaked

denny hamlin got loose, that’s not all

while david ragan’s brakes smoked when he put kurt busch in the wall

who won? hamlin! - yeah, yeah, yeah

denny hamlin - yeah, yeah, yeah

(instrumental)

and finally

denny hamlin won in the new car this week

even after juan montoya

got his quarter-panel tweaked

denny hamlin: a two-tire stop

and after a twenty-lap battle with truex, gordon lost

lost to hamlin - yeah, yeah, yeah

denny hamlin - yeah, yeah, yeah

denny hamlin - yeah, yeah, yeah—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 pepsi four hundred at daytona

the 2007 toyota / save mart three-fifty at infineon (special edition)

2007-06-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

Click this picture of the winning pass to see it and more photos from Sunday's racing action at Infineon!

(to the song “la bamba” by ritchie valens)

ella sofia gordon

her father had a great run

both he and johnson shot up from the back row

robby was way out front, though kyle petty’s show had a hiccup early

pole earning young mcmurray: a career day

poor boris, a stall blocked his way

marlin’s chevy engine blew

jarrett’s white toyota looped, he spun around, the laps wound down, who’s gaining
ground?

(it’s) juan

mon

toy-a

juan

mon

toy-a

juan

mon

toy-a

pablo

montoya’s won a cup race

only the third foreign face with a first-place run:

colombia’s f-one ace!

he might still make this year’s chase, ganassi’s first taste of vict’ry in seasons!

(instrumental)

juan montoya had saved fuel

to survive a thrilling duel with mcmurray, who did not get his caution

stewart caught up to gordon, then both nearly spun one time in turn seven

harvick moved into second, but remained there while on a tear was racing’s heir

(named) juan

mon

toy-a

juan

mon

toy-a

juan

mon

toy-a

juan

mon

toy-a—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 lenox industrial tools three hundred at new hampshire

the 2007 citizens bank four hundred at michigan

2007-06-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

(to the song "ninety-nine luftballons (red balloons)" by nena)

last week, boy, did we get a huge shock:

dale junior just got kyle busch’s name dropped

now he might race that number five

his dad wrecked two bristol nights

michigan, next on the schedule

by one thousandth, yeley out-dueled

johnson for the fastest time

but in the end, someone else got by:

(instrumental)

(that) ninety-nine red fusion

hadn’t won since late oh-five

good thing beard’s using this song

‘cause giacchi’s beard was way too long!

the right-rear, newman’s blew apart

they had to cut it off his car

but near the front was edwards’ ride

his ninety-nine red fusion drove by

(instrumental)

(that) ninety-nine sped off pit road

the way, young martin truex showed

sliding tires seemed like much fun

‘till luckless ryan newman spun

truex looped, he got a boot

matt kenseth, vick-ers ran into

though johnson led this conga line

that ninety-nine red fusion drove by

(instrumental)

stewart flew up through the field

saturday’s car damage was healed

his rival, kurt, was running strong, but

a loose lug would not stay on

hamlin’s car fell off the jack

he couldn’t get all those spots back

raines spins out, the caution flies

that ninety-nine red fusion drove by

(instrumental)

that ninety-nine red fusion drove by—

truex closed, but brushed the fence

it put the sophomore on defense

as johnson slowed to save fuel, still he

stopped with eight left, what a pity

back in tenth, what have we here?

wal-trip’s best run, by far, this year!

checkers for the red fusion

a backflip landed in mid-june—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 dodge/savemart three-fifty at infineon (special edition)

the 2007 pocono five hundred at pocono

2007-06-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

(to the song “kokomo” by the beach boys)

a three-peat like richmond’s

hamlin wanted to win

led early, solidly

it was not meant to be

the storming clouds forming

issued a strong warning

a three-peat—

sunday on t.n.t.

rainy day at pocono

three-hour boring pre-race show

dig weber’s rotating stage!

newman’s pole: third straight

chad mccumbee: it’s his first race

allmendinger is hot

just from running the slow caution pace

up at pocono

a three-peat like richmond’s

hamlin wanted to win

(he) led early, solidly

it was not meant to be

the storming clouds forming

(issued a strong warning) o-nly one hundred six laps at pocono

newman was fast, caught gordon as he slowed

rain fell, the field froze

gordon still won pocono

tires and brakes, they both were in bad shape

earnhardt found some speed

mark’s pit stall could not be seen

tony stewart thought he’d hit something big with his chevy

racing toward the night

truex is in the fight

watch robby gordon ignite

flat tire lit the first caution light

early at pocono

a three-peat like richmond’s

hamlin wanted to win

(he) led early, solidly

it was not meant to be

the storming clouds forming

(issued a strong warning) o-nly one hundred six laps at pocono

newman was fast, caught gordon as he slowed

rain fell, the field froze

gordon still won pocono

blaney spins, now his car's a gremlin

(instrumental)

johnson’s tire woes

just near halfway at pocono

did not force caution throws

so letarte’s strategy worked

this time at pocono

a three-peat like richmond’s

hamlin wanted to win

(he) led early, solidly

it was not meant to be

the storming clouds forming

(issued a strong warning) o-nly one hundred six laps at pocono

newman was fast, caught gordon as he slowed

rain fell, the field froze

gordon still won pocono—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 three-m performance four hundred at michigan

the 2007 autism speaks four hundred at dover

2007-06-04T17:08:00.000-07:00

**for bill france, jr. 1933-2007**

(to the song “hold on loosely” by .38 special)

“dewaltrip” is matt’s sponsor

“nova’s” kasey’s dad

and stremme’s stomach ached when kyle busch

just “crabcaked” that wall bad

hey, ryan newman, he is back again

led off pit road

each time, but—

since martin truex

could stay down low

he won from twenty-sixth

and cried “holy mackerel!”

ward burton bounced off the wall in turn two

and once again, jarrett’s engine blew

kurt busch got angry

‘cause stewart took him out

then tweaked-up smoke’s fender

later on pit road

boy, i’m glad michael waltrip’s back, although

he looped his car,

he finished!

since martin truex

could stay down low

he won from twenty-sixth

and cried “holy mackerel!”

junior soldiered through two flat rear tires

then with nine to go, he misfired

seven car with p.j.

the engine was through

then robby finished tenth race day

yeah-yeah-yeah

the top ten, mark raced into

yeley had a shock break

gilliland and rudd authored an owner

nightmare for robert yates

since martin truex

could stay down low

he won from twenty-sixth

and cried “holy mackerel!”

johnson tried diamonding the corners

but his right-rear blew up while in third

since martin truex

could stay down low

he won from twenty-sixth

and cried “holy mack—”

and cried “ho—ly mackerel!”—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 pocono five hundred at pocono

the 2007 coca-cola six hundred at lowe's

2007-05-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

(to the song “the rock show” by blink-182)

celebrating memorial day weekend

jimmie johnson clawed up seventeen spots, then

his tire cut and flew off like “days of thunder”

someone twitched and half the lead pack got all tangled-up

(instrumental)

on the restart, what happened? it’s the same thing

ninety-six spun out, watch jeff gordon, he is sailing!

oh no, carl’s left-rear tire lost air

elliott and ragan both wrecked right there

and matt kenseth stopped - twenty more circuits to go

then johnson - nine remaining, his fuel cell was low

stewart dove - on pit road half-dozen left, so

yeley wound up second, his first top-five

a decade’s wait is over, petty’s third this time

and casey mears won the six hundred at lowe’s

(instrumental)

though newman’s two hundredth start began in first

a blown engine would ensure he’d finish worse

both the busches led the race until their luck fell

each hit the wall twice, unlike last week did it themselves

matt kenseth stopped - twenty more circuits to go

then johnson - nine remaining, his fuel cell was low

stewart dove - on pit road half-dozen left, so

yeley wound up second, his first top-five

a decade’s wait is over, petty’s third this time

and casey mears won the six hundred at lowe’s

watch brian vickers set a frantic pace

he should’ve won that race

but lost his power steering

jeremy mayfield led just for a bit

he spun, but did save it

toyota’s win is nearing

matt kenseth stopped - twenty more circuits to go

then johnson - nine remaining, his fuel cell was low

stewart dove - on pit road half-dozen left, so

yeley wound up second, his first top-five

a decade’s wait is over, petty’s third this time

and casey mears won the six hundred at lowe’s

won the six hundred at lowe’s

won the six hundred at lowe’s—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 neighborhood excellence four hundred at dover

the 2007 nextel all-star challenge at lowe's

2007-05-21T13:26:00.000-07:00

(to the song “then the morning comes” by smash mouth)

watch petree keep the lead

‘cause knaus can’t catch him

to kick off all-star weekend

edwards was on the pole

for this year’s nextel open

but what happened?

with three laps to go (watch that truex close)

two chevys got by

so now “bootie” barker, he’s

goin’ make the event

thanks to his third-straight second

in four segment blocks

there were not many pit stops

and not much action

and then when johnson could not make a run

kevin harvick won

(instrumental)

herman got the last spot

the only one who

talked over all of those drums

kenseth was on - the pole

his car the exact same hue

as the track’s walls and cautions

kenseth got away ($75K)

kyle busch did, too

mears, labonte, and denny

wrecked, then the crowd cheered

when kyle and kurt hit the fence

in four segment blocks

there were not many pit stops

and not much action

and then when johnson could not make a run—

but, wait, kenseth came off-pit-road

way too fast, now gordon’s on the-front-row

but his car is way too slow

and his left-rear blew out

(instrumental)

harvick was in first (million-dollar purse)

johnson drove up high

but humpy’s pick wouldn’t stick

and, in the end, lost

so through the four segment blocks

there were not many pit stops

and not much action

and then when johnson could not make a run

kevin harvick won

REWIND LINK: the 2006 coca-cola six hundred at lowe's

the 2007 dodge avenger five hundred at darlington

2007-05-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

(to the song “lookin’ out my back door” by creedence clearwater revival)

mother’s day, they waved the green

awkward for the eight team

bowyer’s out front, put his car on the pole

kyle busch did okay

‘till he crashed with a.j.

watch that steam outta car twenty-four!

the commitment cone got edwards

nemecheck’s debris scattered

tony stewart blew a left-rear, wound up back in sixth

newman led the race, who

knew it was still ‘02?!

watch that steam outta car twenty-four!

denny hamlin cannot catch a break to save his life

though he led all day, the crew had a miscue - lug-nuts fell-off

kurt’s mother’s been gettin’

“priceless glass momentums”

watch that steam outta car twenty-four!

(instrumental)

no one needs a two-by-four, that foam is workin’ grand

a twelve-second stop, kenseth got, woo-hoo! - brakes-were too-hot

schrader spun with ragan

mcmurray’s arm was tinglin’

watch that steam outta car twenty-four!

(instrumental)

nightmare came for casey mears

vickers wrecked when cars neared

look at all those other engines blow up in the sun

johnson chose to come in

who pulled a fake? jeff gordon!

watch that steam outta car twenty-four!

REWIND LINK: the 2006 nextel all-star challenge at lowe's

the 2007 crown royal presents the jim stewart four hundred at richmond

2007-05-07T12:17:00.000-07:00

(to the song “superstition” by stevie wonder)

sunday ‘noon at richmond -

rain, there is no more

first race jarrett’s missin’ -

since late ninety-four

brake pads red like cherries -

their ducts are too small

two flats k.o. robby -

kenny wallace stalls

and though jeff gordon leads, a three pole-win streak ended

bad adjustments

made-him tight-late at rich-mond - yeah-yeah

(instrumental)

ooh, sunday ‘noon at richmond -

raines out front with shrek

kasey kahne’s collision -

a cautionless wreck

jigsaw, sauter drags far -

thanks to montoya

jeff burton’s engine parks -

his impala

nobody told harvick “stop,” he hits david ragan

while on pit road

then-gets sev-enth at rich-mond - yeah

(instrumental)

sunday ‘noon at richmond -

kurt busch shows the way

biff moves up four dozen -

spots, then gets wrecked late

gilliland clips benson -

slams the backstretch gap

six cars crash off marlin -

smoke runs good post-crash - mm-hmm

from thirty-fourth, kyle leads, but the cautions aren’t his friend

look who gets by:

jim-mie john-son wins rich-mond! - whoa-whoa-whoa

REWIND LINK: the 2006 dodge charger five hundred at darlington

the 2007 aaron's four ninety-nine at talladega

2007-04-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

(to the song “it’s the end of the world as we know it” by r.e.m.)

waltrip, mark, and ken did not make

this plate race, boy, what a shame

top two speeds, they were the same

herman was near the top, sterling marlin returned

kevin never did lead, boris made it on speed

bowyer got a wall piece, and - then - rick - y’s

battery was averaging low - volts - then - died

tired cars expired: robby gordon, paul menard, then dale jarrett, carl edwards, and ward burton’s ride

saturday was ‘citing, watch labonte go slingshot the

stewart car - and - win

then on sunday, bobby’s tire popped, spidey caught

a break, three laps were - made - up

smoke sped on pit road

and he got a slow pass-through, the lower groove, by himself, could you tell

he wasn’t angry, caution’s out for debris

rescinded the words from his show back on tuesday night - right?

johnson had a problem with car two-five although

vickers ain’t inside

look out for the beer cans we’re all throwin’

look out for the beer cans we’re all throwin’

look out for the beer cans we’re all throwin’

‘cause here comes mine

“I cannot wait to leave,” kyle busch thought ‘cause he

crash-and-burned, twice earned sudden backstretch wreck turns

tony raines got jimmie johnson caught in a spot that got

jeff burton and nemecheck, ricky rudd, busch, and truex

hamlin led the big pack in one long - line - long - time

reutimann in third place - great race

newman’s gold car dropped some parts, contact with montoya

mcmurray got in the lead, drivers went side-by-side

bad luck for reutimann, but no one threw the caution until gordon got by!

look out for the beer cans we’re all throwin’

look out for the beer cans we’re all throwin’

look out for the beer cans we’re all throwin’

‘cause here comes mine

here comes mine

(rant over instrumental after fade, as fast as possible w/accent:)
“gol-ly, that derned jeff gordon done won ‘nother cup race here! this ain’t what I came here for, not to-day, not no-way. good thing I done brung this here big ol’ roll of toilet paper seein’ as I’m so mad I could just, I could just—”

(w/accent)
"look out for the beer cans i've been throwin’

look out for the beer cans i've been throwin’

look out for the beer cans i've been throwin’

‘cause here comes nine!"

(back to "normal")
half-dozen slow caution laps made hamlin get some gas

biffle thought “overdrive” meant “crash up high”

gilliland wrecked smoke, tony’s hit was not a joke

gordon just beat earnhardt’s win record - boom!

some psychotic dale fanatic threw that bud can, right? - right!

look out for the beer cans we’re all throwin’

look out for the beer cans we’re all throwin’

look out for the beer cans we’re all throwin’

‘cause here comes mine—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 crown royal four hundred at richmond

opinion: gordon v. earnhardt

2007-04-29T23:29:00.000-07:00

I wasn't going to say anything until I posted my lyrics later today, but after reading NASCAR.COM opinion writer David Caraviello's article on how Sunday's race reminded him of Earnhardt's final win at Talladega in 2000, I would like to point out that THIS:

Fearing being shaken out of line late in the Aaron's 499, Jeff Gordon had lagged back in the middle of the pack for more than thirty laps before following teammate Jimmie Johnson to the front with seven laps to go. The winning pass came five laps later after David Reutimann's Toyota blew up, Gordon passing Jamie McMurray for the lead just before the caution came out. After strong contender Denny Hamlin ran out of gas during the prolonged six-lap caution period which forced NASCAR to allow one attempt at a green-white-checkered finish, Gordon remained out front for a full 1/4 of a lap before the field froze when Greg Biffle and Johnny Sauter brought a swift halt to the race. This allowed Gordon to claim his seventy-seventh victory uncontested under the caution flag.

---sure doesn't sound like THIS:

Knowing there were only five laps remaining in the Winston 500, Dale Earnhardt rallied from seventeenth to first to take the checkered flag in one of the most hotly-contested 188-lap races ever run at Talladega. Picking up more drafting help from the rival Chevrolet team cars of Kenny Wallace and polesitter Joe Nemecheck as he reached the top ten, "The Intimidator" pulled out every trick in the book as the field raced four and five-wide around him in the final laps. At one point, Earnhardt dove to the inside and shunted drivers Rich Bickle and Rusty Wallace up the track in a daring pass that put donuts on all three cars. Coming to the white flag, Earnhardt managed to launch his way past leading teammate Mike Skinner on the outside of turn three so fast that Skinner could not block him. Once out front at the stripe, Earnhardt then managed to not only break away with Wallace and Nemecheck from the three-wide pack behind them, but singlehandedly broke up their draft on the final lap to score the narrow victory under green.

Don't understand why those fans were so mad? Try putting yourself in a Senior/Junior fan's shoes who reads this:

"As Dale Earnhardt Day festivities took place in Mooresville on Sunday, April 29, 2007, celebrating what would have been Dale Earnhardt's 56th birthday, Jeff Gordon pulled ahead of "The Intimidator" for sixth on the all-time wins list by scoring a victory in the Aaron's 499 at Talladega Superspeedway. Dale Earnhardt, Jr., still yet to win at Talladega since 2004 while Hendrick Motorsports has won four of the last five races at the track, led early and was within sight of Gordon in the seventh position when the green-white-checkered finish was halted by a wreck just as the field was getting up to speed."

Junior was only my fantasy pick and it pained me to write that!

the 2007 subway fresh fit five hundred at phoenix

2007-04-23T13:44:00.000-07:00

(to the song “centerfold” by j. geils band)

wreck that’s big

got scott riggs,

ragan, and stremme

the cars of penske and haas now look much harder to beat

jamie overheated

and had some stomach pain

while johnson had a problem

his battery was drained

the laps wind down and gordon’s racing so hard under green

harvick gave him a battle, but “pop-tarte” thought that was mean!

jeff gordon’s goal:

to win three tracks that plagued his soul

so he won phoenix from the pole (gordon won it from the pole)

jeff gordon’s goal:

whoo - to win three tracks that plagued his soul

(guitar)

gordon won it from the pole

hamlin had early success

then sped on pit road, what a mess

though his lead had gone away, twenty-eight spots he’d climb

harvick’s brakes were overused

‘cause he stole burton’s drivin’ shoes

sun went down and suddenly, stewart passed him up high

smoke tired of the cautions, four came out for debris

he just wanted to race that day, boy, what a race he’d see!

jeff gordon’s goal:

yeah - to win three tracks that plagued his soul

so he won phoenix from the pole (gordon won it from the pole)

jeff gordon’s goal:

to win three tracks that plagued his soul

(guitar)

oh yeah - gordon won it from the pole

wallace, he had to pit, his window net came undone and slipped

mark martin, he barely clipped gilliland but they both did save it

montoya was impatient, he fought menard for the same pavement

and junior’s fender got bent, while newman freaked at the last caution

and though

jeff’s helmet radio jammed

he nailed a near-perfect plan

the caution flew when he was on

pit road, so he stopped, then was gone

cycled through, gordon leads

a great pit stall decided

then got mad at truex, through the middle, stewart tried it

for one lap, their positions switched

‘till gordon made stewart’s car twitch

although - some didn’t like it

earnhardt’s - win total, he just tied it

jeff gordon’s goal:

to win three tracks that plagued his soul

so he won phoenix from the pole (gordon won it from the pole)

jeff gordon’s goal:

whoo - to win three tracks that plagued his soul

(guitar)

gordon won it from the pole

and junior’s fender bent, while newman freaked at the final caution

alright, alright

one, two, three, four!

wallace, he had to pit, his window net came undone and slipped

mark martin, he barely clipped gilliland but they both did save it

montoya was impatient, he fought menard for the same pavement

and junior’s fender got bent, while newman freaked at the last caution—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 aaron's four ninety-nine at talladega

the 2007 samsung five hundred at texas

2007-04-16T22:32:00.000-07:00

(to the song "nothin' but the taillights" by clint black)

stormy texas friday - no one qualified

sunday, the big ol' sun was bright, and jeff gordon led 'em to the line

barely finished lap one

when ragan squeezed yeley high

checkin' up, casey mears spun with

the two cars in the mix

'n watched that ricky rudd car fly!

a third weekend sweep? no, not quite

kenseth's right-rear didn't feel right

matt's ford led at the white, but acid reflux kicked in

fifteen laps, he raced side-by-side

with jeff burton's prilosec ride

twelve guys, jeff through tony, each had one texas cup win

and now jeff has won there yet again!

jimmie johnson dropped a cylinder

and hit tony in the door

montoya'd made an ill-timed swerve

pit room, his crew needs more

then when stewart got his car back out

it was a "hunk of junk"

three-sixty, great car control, that is no doubt

kyle busch lined up a punt

and hit junior 'tween the taillights

no one could believe the strange sight

the fox crew says he's like buddy baker's young lost twin

his backup's seat was way too tight

so he quit the racetrack outright

junior's contract's not signed so the busch car he climbed in

to get that one spot up on johnson

well, the caution's out, kurt busch is angry now

mark martin is such a sneak

gordon's chevy's hittin' walls and now

a cautious matt kenseth leads

for a weekend sweep? no, not quite

kenseth's right-rear didn't feel right

matt's ford led at the white, but acid reflux kicked in

fifteen laps, he raced side-by-side

with jeff burton's prilosec ride

twelve guys, jeff through tony, each had one texas cup win

and now jeff has won there yet again!

REWIND LINK: the 2006 subway fresh five hundred at phoenix

must make it in on time

2007-04-09T19:31:00.000-07:00

(to the song “breaking up is hard to do” by neil sedaka)

do-do-do your second lap slowed down

drama drama your second lap slowed down

drama drama your second lap slowed down

qualifying’s hard to do

poor reutimann, he cannot eat

allmendinger, he sure feels the heat

menard’s first year’s been hard, too

it’s tough to get a d.n.q.

where is michael’s car fifty-five?

and jeremy’s bill davis ride?

ward’s four car is not in view

it’s tough to get a d.n.q.

friday, one gets the pole and others cue

still others barely make it through

then speed highlights in bright red

the guys who don’t race sunday who then let their haulers race instead

and the lucky top thirty-five

know they’ll score points for a sunday drive

while it’s stressful, it’s hardly new

it’s tough to get a d.n.q.

but now today so many sing this tune

some fast cars, their race ends too soon

how can underdogs defend

the brand-new cars and rising stars who’re making fridays tough again

and the lucky top thirty-five

know they’ll score points for a sunday drive

while it’s stressful, it’s hardly new

it’s tough to get a d.n.q.

your second lap slowed down

drama drama your second lap slowed down

drama drama your second lap slowed down

drama drama your second lap slowed down—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 samsung / radio shack five hundred at texas

the 2007 goody's cool orange five hundred at martinsville

2007-04-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

(to the song “simply irresistible” by robert palmer)

poor robby’s day was miserable

labonte floored his brake pedal - and crashed

brake heat made tires poppable

for blaney, mears, and mayfield

sterling spun out his car after he moved up far

stewart won in go-karts, then sunday fell apart

a loose lugnut dropped him back, and in the end still—

jimmie won at martinsville

jimmie won at martinsville

david stremme spun up the hill - twice

jeff green, a brake fluid refill - it leaked

reutimann broke mechanical

kyle busch, three-wide pass he pulled

hamlin started on top, with jeff gordon he fought

twenty-nine second stop cost that grandfather clock

he led and fought hard all day, but in the end still—

jimmie won at martinsville

jimmie won at martinsville

(jimmie won at martinsville) gordon’s flyin’, but he couldn’t get his chevy through

(jimmie won at martinsville) at the line, johnson cut it real close

yeley and raines were strong until they hit the wall

jarrett spun out late when his loose right-rear fell off

harvick’s fuel pump broke, but for him that was not all

his door foam burnt up and darrell insisted—

(that is just not possible) gordon’s flyin’, but he couldn’t get his chevy through

(that is just not possible) at the line, johnson cut it real close

wha-oh—

(instrumental)

it rained and junior led until

the track dried, and the crowd was thrilled

one-thirty-eight-to-go, the green came out at martinsville - whoo!

take that new clock home, someone will - oh, yeah

most of that april day, gordon’s car showed the way

he slowed down after a marble got in his way

well, “winning” the bear made a run, but wound up second—

(jimmie won at martinsville) gordon’s flyin’, but he couldn’t get his chevy through

(jimmie won at martinsville) at the line, johnson cut it real close

(jimmie won at martinsville) gordon’s flyin’, but he couldn’t get his chevy through

(jimmie won at martinsville) at the line, johnson cut it real close

jimmie won at martinsville!

the 2007 food city five hundred at bristol

2007-03-26T15:40:00.000-07:00

(to the song “wake me up before you go-go” by wham!)

kyle busch

kyle busch

kyle busch

kyle busch

check out those weird new forty-three cars

sorenson hit yeley before the start!

mayfield’s back in the race

and allmendinger’s got a big ol’ smile on his face

the green flag flew, jeff gordon was too tight

jarrett got wrecked and he wanted a fight

evernham cars had bad luck

now “c.o.t.” will probably stand for “car or truck”

in his new car of tomorrow

kyle busch won, but poor kurt was so-so

stewart was impressive although

he just couldn’t win it when his fuel pump stopped

mcmurray’s training helped him go

much faster when his a/c did not blow

and stremme is no fluke, you must know

he’s running near the top

montoya spun a lot, yeah-yeah

this year started to kyle’s dismay

each race he would lose in a different way

a loose lugnut or a late spin (oh-no)

yet he still hasn’t thrown his hans again

and when stewart slowed

up hamlin

busch got the lead late right at the caution

then behind him

denny’s slow

and kyle wants to

make his harsh opinions known

of his new car of tomorrow

kyle busch won, but poor kurt was so-so

stewart was impressive although

he just couldn’t win it when his fuel pump stopped

mcmurray’s training helped him go

much faster when his a/c did not blow

and stremme is no fluke, you must know

he’s running near the top

montoya spun a lot, yeah yeah yeah

(instrumental)

green-white-checkers, kyle leads

and burton by jeff gordon speeds

unlike vegas, kyle’s high

at the line

busch pulls it off this time!

(instrumental)

in his new car of tomorrow

kyle busch won, but poor kurt was so-so

stewart was impressive although

he just couldn’t win it when his fuel pump stopped

mcmurray’s training helped him go

much faster when his a/c did not blow

and stremme is no fluke, you must know

he’s running near the top—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 directv five hundred at martinsville

the 2007 kobalt tools five hundred at atlanta

2007-03-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

(to the song “particle man” by they might be giants)

ryan newman, ryan newman

blown engine not part of the plan

lost the pole and started last, poor

ryan newman

kyle busch had two straight days so bad

the lugnuts would fall off and make him mad

his st. pat’s weekend was off a tad

no luck, so sad, worse than newman’s

reed sorenson, reed sorenson

boy, his home-state fans had so much fun

he finished ninth, stayed in the fight

reed sorenson

(instrumental)

but jeff gordon still hasn’t won

lost the lead when his tire stop plunged

him a lap down to johnson

too bad, gordon

montoya’s time should quickly arrive

the harry gant line got him by just fine

juan got fifth, he is in his prime

the stars aligned, an oval this time!

reutimann, reutimann

wrecked with kahne, greg, and brian

biff moved high and who got crammed?

reutimann

a slow pit stop gave stewart a drop

from fifth to seventeenth, we thought

he would be stuck in the pack

then he attacked, got it back

until johnson, jimmie johnson

three laps up front, stewart was done

he ran away, forty-eight wins:

jimmie johnson

REWIND LINK: the 2006 food city five hundred at bristol

the 2007 uaw-daimlerchrysler four hundred at las vegas

2007-03-12T18:53:00.000-07:00

(to the song “viva las vegas” by elvis presley)

bright light city’s track was way too flat

drivers got trapped single file

after matt kenseth lost off of the final turn

they brought those banks up higher

but now they’re all complainin’ the track is too slick

the fuel cell’s too small, the tires won’t stick

the commitment cone needs to be moved a tick in

johnson’s third vegas

johnson’s third vegas

sorenson’s stop was too slow

montoya and sadler made great saves

kurt busch nearly hit his bro on pit road

seventeen laps, three cautions were waved

while casey mears got angry at robby gordon

blaney got knocked out early, menard had no fun

neither did kahne, sauter, bowyer, and ragan in

johnson’s third vegas

johnson’s third vegas

racing at vegas had no engines blowin’, seems like all the crews are showin’

unleaded fuel will work

young almirola made his first nextel cup start spun his brand-new joe gibbs car

didn’t crash too hard, and i think that should be a perk!

saturday jeff burton won, kyle busch lost out and spun

they both ran well sunday but fell short

kyle spun out again, burton’s battery conked out, and matt

kenseth wound up fourth

the pits were closed, but junior brought in his bud car

jeff gordon had nicorette, but smoked his tire

a teammate whizzed right by him and then won by far in

johnson’s third vegas

johnson’s third vegas

johnson’s third vegas

jimmie - johnson’s - third vegaaas

REWIND LINK: the 2006 golden corral five hundred at atlanta

nascar cinema: "herbie: fully loaded"

2007-03-05T13:33:00.000-08:00

congratulations to juan pablo montoya and the entire "texacohavolinedodge" team on your thrilling first busch series win in mexico city!

**KFNF's 50th SONG**

(to the song “billie jean” by michael jackson)

maggie peyton went to a junkyard to pick up a car

wanted to race in cup like her bro, but dad said “no”

he picked out - an old car - that looked slow

but what they didn’t know

was the car - had a past - of its own

a letter said the car’s named “herbie,” number fifty-three

and when she drove home it did wheelies, then got in a

race with smoke - oops, i mean - “trip murphy”

but then her dad got angry

and murphy took her ride

then had his guy trash it real bad (ooh!)

but you just can’t kill herbie

maggie took her car back

but this story’s not through

‘cause “the love bug” got his groove, hey-hey—

fifty-three is the car number

of herbie, the magic white volkswagen bug

who once winked at jeff gordon

and then had a good run

under hot fontana sun

at california, the peyton team was still struggling

maggie’s bro first got it in the show, then wrecked his piece

no backup - driver got - his bell rung

but then later that night

the crew came to fix herbie up right

(who would drive?) maggie, why? (woo-hoo!)

the nascar rules let them enter a “car of yesterday”

forty-year-old herbie with bass pro logos this time

started last - murphy’s first - goin’ green

she started out way too slow

then slingshot jarrett fast

and sprung a leak drivin’ over cars (li-ter-al-ly)

then trip murphy caused a big wreck

maggie turned her car up high

like smoke, herbie did climb

the catch fence, “this win is mine,” he honked—

fifty-three is the car number

of herbie, the magic white volkswagen bug

who once winked at jeff gordon

fifty-three is the car number

of herbie, the magic white volkswagen bug

who once winked at jeff gordon

and then had a good run

under hot fontana sun—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 uaw-daimlerchrysler four hundred at las vegas

the 2007 auto club five hundred at california

2007-02-26T17:07:00.000-08:00

(to the song “crocodile rock” by sir elton john)

with other stars awaiting oscars

kevin costner gave those famous words

sunoco’s unleaded fuel

blew up six cars early, like “days of thunder two”

when junior spun out, but didn’t crash

he climbed out and took a bow on the grass

as they raced on the backstretch’s roughest patch

riggs, mcmurray, and reed sorenson wrecked out so fast, then—

look out, matt kenseth, kevin harvick

is comin’ to get you again

remember last time he had a run

he usurped ol’ mark martin

oh, man, look there! his tire’s flat!

it looks like you’ve got this one, matt

even though reiser is still sitting out at ho-o-o-ome

way - from the thirteenth row,

matt kenseth stole the show,

look at his ford go!

like the hagar rhyme, “i can’t drive fifty-five”

waltrip’s napa camry didn’t qualify

reutimann got his spot, then got a scare

hit the turn three wall so hard it knocked out his air

stewart’s speeding did not go un-caught

johnson had an ill-timed slow pit stop

vickers’ first toyota top ten

came as bobby labonte’s strong run ended—

look out, matt kenseth, kevin harvick

is comin’ to get you again

remember last time he had a run

he usurped ol’ mark martin

oh, man, look there! his tire’s flat!

it looks like you’ve got this one, matt

even though reiser is still sitting at ho-o-o-ome

way - from the thirteenth row,

matt kenseth stole the show,

then made his tranny blow!

with other stars awaiting oscars

kevin costner gave those famous words

sunoco’s unleaded fuel

blew up six cars early, like “days of thunder two”

when junior spun out, but didn’t crash

he climbed out and took a bow on the grass

as they raced on the backstretch’s roughest patch

riggs, mcmurray, and reed sorenson wrecked out so fast, then—

look out, matt kenseth, kevin harvick

is comin’ to get you again

remember last time he had a run

he usurped ol’ mark martin

oh, man, look there! his tire’s flat!

it looks like you’ve got this one, matt

even though reiser is still sitting at ho-o-o-ome

way - from the thirteenth row,

matt kenseth stole the show,

look at his ford go—

the 2007 daytona five hundred

2007-02-19T11:39:00.000-08:00

(to the song “life is a highway” by joe cochrane)

david gilliland sat upon the pole

the sky was clear, but the track was cold

five crew chiefs watched the race at home

waltrip got his camry in the show

boris spun his ford but kept it clean

hamlin cried out, “who’s your daddy?”

gordon’s car kept on kissing the wall

kurt busch blocked smoke, but that’s not all:

stewart broke away

slight kurt contact was made

they crashed and later that day:

earl, harley j.

martin had it, then bad luck:

the wide-open high lane

harvick tried it and it stuck

fantasy picks were all trouble bound

johnson got loose and he spun around

caught up four cars, including hamlin

blaney’s pit road run got schrader pinned

then mcmurray raced up into the fight

got wrecked by kenseth, boy that’s not right

though the field tried to dice and swerve

it took out rudd, truex, and dale junior

green flag, two laps to go

and kyle spun with matt, oh no!

field wrecked and clint bowyer slid

on his roof, but he finished!

earl, harley j.

martin had it, then bad luck:

the wide-open high lane

harvick tried it and it stuck

earl, harley j.

martin had it, then bad luck:

the wide-open high lane

harvick tried it and it stuck

it seemed a big joke before the race arrived:

a ronald mcdonald photo smoke had personally signed

oh

(instrumental)

green flag with two laps to go

and kyle spun with matt, oh no!

field wrecked and clint bowyer slid

on his roof, but he finished!

earl, harley j.

martin had it, then bad luck:

the wide-open high lane

harvick tried it and it stuck

earl, harley j.

martin had it, then bad luck:

the wide-open high lane

harvick tried it and it stuck

earl, harley j.

martin had it, then bad luck:

the wide-open high lane

harvick tried it and it stuck—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 auto club five hundred at california

the 2007 budweiser shootout at daytona

2007-02-12T12:00:00.000-08:00

(to the song “dragula” by rob zombie)

now the season starts

with twenty-one fast cars

jarrett started first

led once did vickers

(guitar riff)

gordon’s overheat

junior’s battling

first part, no cautions

harvick’s wide-open

WITH aero pushes

smoke BEAT both the busches

and WON his third shootout at

DAYTONA!

WITH aero pushes

smoke BEAT both the busches

and WON his third shootout at

DAYTONA!

(instrumental)

kyle blocked by kurt

biffle clips schrader

gordon shorted out

newman’s engine: pow!

(guitar riff)

harvick’s crazy loose

kahne saves his dodge, too

junior’s fast up high

busch won’t let him by!

WITH aero pushes

smoke BEAT both the busches

and WON his third shootout at

DAYTONA!

WITH aero pushes

smoke BEAT both the busches

and WON his third shootout at

DAYTONA!

do it tony, do it tony

do it tony, do it tony

(instrumental)

yellow’s on the track

relief for the pack

tires, who gets two?

kyle and kahne do

(guitar riff)

tony wowed his fans

how ‘bout gilliland?

junior spun sadler

“my bad:” his answer.

WITH aero pushes

smoke BEAT both the busches

and WON his third shootout at

DAYTONA!

WITH aero pushes

smoke BEAT both the busches

and WON his third shootout at

DAYTONA!

do it tony, do it tony

do it tony, do it tony—

REWIND LINK: the 2006 daytona five hundred

silly season in three minutes, forty seconds

2007-02-05T14:11:00.000-08:00

(to the song “mambo no. five (a little bit of. . .)” by lou bega)

to celebrate this site's first year on the air, click on the picture below to get your wallpaper-sized copy of the new "kfnf" logo!

ladies and gentlemen, this is season number two!

five days left to go

off-season is nearly done, there is much to know, so to

get you ready for daytona

it’s time to review who’s driving where and who switched to toyota

red bull’s new car eighty-three

has matched richert with brian v.

there is jarrett, with waltrip and borland this season

will they make a breakthrough or is that just misleadin’?

marcos ambrose will road ring for the woods

like scott, boris, ron, and chris cook

young damon lusk will drive james hylton’s

car after speedweeks oh-seven

martin and regan smith will both share a ride

like schrader who has jon wood on his side

joe nemechek’s new car number’s thirteen

and johnny sauter’s teamed up with jeff green

morgan-mcclure has brought back ward burton

and rudd is back with yates, where he last won

mayfield now will race without evernham

while casey mears has joined the hendrick clan

(instrumental)

season number two!

rookies, there’s six; dave ragan’s in the mix

racing in mark’s old car to race hard paul menard

there’s brandon whitt, who drove trucks with

waltrip’s third man, david reutimann

ganassi’s new star is juan montoya

and allmendinger’s name is even more---

different than harvick’s new pennzoil twenty-nine

and greg biffle’s ameriquest black design

mcmurray has a rainbow-bright machine

and yeley’s car has lightning bolts on green

the nine and nineteen cars are white and red

while newman’s alltel dodge went blue instead

panasonic is now across marlin’s hood

and robby gordon’s ford move might be good!

(instrumental)

nascar!

oh-seven!

season number two!

martin and regan smith will both share a ride

like schrader who has jon wood on his side

joe nemechek’s new car number’s thirteen

and johnny sauter’s teamed up with jeff green

morgan-mcclure has brought back ward burton

and rudd is back with yates, where he last won

mayfield now will race without evernham

while casey mears has joined the hendrick clan

time to see who

has fast cars and some attitude

‘cause all these teams will bump aside

ten-plus guys who won’t qualify

(instrumental)

season number two!

REWIND LINK: the 2006 budweiser shootout at daytona

KFNF Index By Original Song Title

2007-02-01T19:42:00.000-08:00

“21ST CENTURY (DIGITAL BOY)” by bad religion

“25 OR 6 TO 4” by chicago

“99 LUFTBALLONS (RED BALLOONS)” by nena

“1985” by bowling for soup

“AMERICAN PIE” by don mclean

“A.M. RADIO” by everclear

“BAD MOON RISING” by creedence clearwater revival

“BALLAD OF THUNDER ROAD” by the charlie daniels band

“BANG BANG (MY BABY SHOT ME DOWN)” by nancy sinatra

“BANG THE DRUM ALL DAY” by todd rundgren

“BICYCLE RACE” by queen

“BILLIE JEAN” by michael jackson

“BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO” by neil sedaka

“BUILD ME UP BUTTERCUP” by the foundations

“CALIFORNIA” by phantom planet

“CARRY ON WAYWARD SON” by kansas

“CAUGHT UP IN YOU” by .38 special

“CENTERFOLD” by j. geils band

“CROCODILE ROCK” by sir elton john

“CROSSTOWN TRAFFIC” by jimi hendrix

“DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?” by the lovin' spoonful

“DRAGULA” by rob zombie

“EVEN THE LOSERS” by tom petty and the heartbreakers

“FIRST TIME” by lifehouse

“FLIRTIN' WITH DISASTER” by molly hatchet

“FLOWERS ON THE WALL” by the statler brothers

“FOOTLOOSE” by kenny loggins

“FREE RIDE” by the edgar winter group

“GET OUT OF MY DREAMS (GET INTO MY CAR)” by billy ocean

“GET READY” by the temptations

“GIMME SOME LOVIN'” by the spencer davis group

“GLORY DAYS” by bruce springsteen

“GRANDMA GOT RUN OVER BY A REINDEER” by elmo and patsy

“GTO” by ronnie and the daytonas

“HAVE A NICE DAY” by bon jovi

“HERE I GO AGAIN” by whitesnake

“HIGHER GROUND” by stevie wonder

“HOLD ON LOOSELY” by .38 special

“I FOUGHT THE LAW” by the clash

“I'M A BELIEVER” by the monkees

“I'M STILL STANDING” by sir elton john

“IS SHE REALLY GOING OUT WITH HIM” by joe jackson

“IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT” by r.e.m.

“JESSIE'S GIRL” by rick springfield

“JUMP JIVE AN' WAIL” by the brian setzer orchestra

“KICKSTART MY HEART” by motley crue

“KOKOMO” by the beach boys

“KRYPTONITE” by three doors down

“LA BAMBA” by ritchie valens

“LIFE IS A HIGHWAY” by joe cochrane

“LOOKIN' OUT MY BACK DOOR” by creedence clearwater revival

“MAMBO NO. 5 (A LITTLE BIT OF. . .)” by lou bega

“MANIAC” by michael sembello

“MOTOWNPHILLY” by boyz II men

“MOUNTAIN DEW” by grandpa jones

“NO MORE MR. NICE GUY” by alice cooper

“NOTHIN' BUT THE TAILLIGHTS” by clint black

“ONE WEEK” by the barenaked ladies

“ON THE ROAD AGAIN” by willie nelson

“PAIN” by jimmy eat world

“PAINT IT, BLACK” by the rolling stones

“PAPA'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG” by james brown

“PARTICLE MAN” by they might be giants

“PLEASE MR. POSTMAN” by the marvelettes

“RAINDROPS KEEP FALLIN' ON MY HEAD” by b.j. thomas

“REACH FOR THE SKY” by social distortion

“REMEMBER THE ALAMO” by donovan

“REMEMBER THE ALAMO” by donovan (reprise)

“RETURN TO SENDER” by elvis presley

“RIGHT NOW” by sr-71

“ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE” by the scorpions

“RUNNIN' DOWN A DREAM” by tom petty and the heartbreakers

“RUNNING ON EMPTY” by jackson browne

“SHOOTING STAR” by bad company

“SIMPLY IRRESISTIBLE” by robert palmer

“SIXTEEN TONS” by tennessee ernie ford

“SOMEBODY'S WATCHING ME” by rockwell

“STILL THE ONE” by orleans

“SUMMER FUN” from the opening of the 1991 miss teen usa pageant

“SUMMER OF '69” by bryan adams

“SUPERSTITION” by stevie wonder

“TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN” by steve miller band

“TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS” by bachman-turner overdrive

“THE BALLAD OF JED CLAMPETT” by paul henning

“THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO GEORGIA” by the charlie daniels band

“THE DISTANCE” by cake

“THE HOUSE IS ROCKIN'” by stevie ray vaughan and double trouble

“THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT (WIMOWEH)” by the tokens

“THE LOCO-MOTION” by kylie minogue

“THE ROCK SHOW” by blink-182

“THE TWIST” by chubby checker

“THE WAITING” by tom petty and the heartbreakers

“THEN THE MORNING COMES” by smash mouth

“THRILLER” by michael jackson

“TURNING JAPANESE” by the vapors

“VIDEO KILLED THE RADIO STAR” by the buggles

“VIVA LAS VEGAS” by elvis presley

“WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO” by wham!

“WALKING ON SUNSHINE” by katrina and the waves

“WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE” by billy joel

“WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE” by guns ‘n roses

“WE'RE AN AMERICAN BAND” by grand funk railroad

“(WE'RE GONNA) ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK TONIGHT” by bill haley and his comets

“WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT” by twisted sister

“WHAT BECOMES OF THE BROKENHEARTED” by jimmy ruffin

“WHO'LL STOP THE RAIN” by creedence clearwater revival

“WORKING FOR THE WEEKEND” by loverboy

“YELLOW SUBMARINE” by the beatles

“YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH (HOT SUMMER NIGHT)” by meat loaf

“(YOUR LOVE KEEPS LIFTING ME) HIGHER AND HIGHER” by jackie wilson

“ZOOT SUIT RIOT” by the cherry poppin' daddies

the 2005 daytona five hundred

2007-01-29T14:03:00.000-08:00

(to the song “pain” by jimmy eat world)

mike skinner slid and caught andretti

so with

six to go the race was restarted

stewart was up front

gordon tried to pass but needed help

there was none

then junior made a move by himself

and took smoke’s lead away!

side-by-side

drag race was a tie

‘till junior got down low

first time he had led all day

he took that lead away!

in oh-four

he did this before

but this time

the race wasn’t over yet!

the crowd went nuts, but dupont wasn’t through

not yet

gordon got junior up high off turn two

as young kasey kahne

hit the wall hard, scattering debris

the caution fell

green-white-checkers came and jeff was ready

to keep junior at bay!

then next time

kurt busch made a try

and scott riggs wanted fourth

stewart fell back while gordon

kept them all away!

cars three-wide

stewart did collide

with johnson

(he) didn’t like how he was passed!

(he) didn’t like how he was passed—

(instrumental)

and gordon got away!

what a ride

the thrill was amplified

for lepage, whose white dodge

made a move to finish ninth

while gordon got away

a third time

first since ninety-nine

jeff gordon

won the nascar super bowl

‘cause gordon got

‘cause gordon got

‘cause gordon got

‘cause gordon got away!

the 2002 daytona five hundred

2007-01-22T17:27:00.000-08:00

(to the song “jump jive an’ wail” by the brian setzer orchestra)

in plate racing, weird stuff happens all the time

upset winners, big wrecks and cars four-wide

who knew back in ‘02 that a driver’d give his car a pry:

oh, you shouldn’t

jump out an’

then pull on your fender

jump out an’

then pull on your fender

jump out an’

then pull on your fender

jump out an’

then pull on your fender

jump out when

the red flag stops the race

(instrumental)

gordon’s in the grass ‘cause marlin spun him in turn one

marlin beats ward burton, but the race is not quite done

although there’s a red flag, marlin thought it time to bail:

“oh, i better

jump out an’

then pull on my fender

jump out an’

then pull on my fender

jump out an’

then pull on my fender

jump out an’

then pull on my fender

jump out like

earnhardt did that one time”

(instrumental)

sterling pulled his fender and then nascar sent him to the back

ward and geoff bodine moved to first and second on the track

the green flag came out and three more laps were all that lacked

sadler got past geoff bodine real quick

eighty-eight was then spun out by the six

ward still led and beat sadler by a couple ticks

‘cause he didn’t

jump out an’

then pull on his fender

jump out an’

then pull on his fender

jump out an’

then pull on his fender

jump out an’

then pull on his fender

jump out like

marlin did that one time

oh, you shouldn’t

jump out an’

then pull on your fender

jump out an’

then pull on your fender

jump out an’

then pull on your fender

jump out an’

then pull on your fender

jump out when

the red flag stops the race—

benny parsons 1941 - 2007

2007-01-16T13:31:00.000-08:00

He was the 1973 Winston Cup Champion, the Daytona 500 winner in 1975, but to me he was always "Buffet Benny," a true friend of the fans who on every broadcast made you feel like he was sitting right next to you, offering some of North Carolina's best fried chicken during the commercials. I never met Benny Parsons, but somehow I always felt like he knew me.

For that, I will miss him all the more.

the 1998 daytona five hundred

2007-01-15T13:10:00.000-08:00

(to the song “1985” by bowling for soup)

whoo-hoo-hoo!

whoo-hoo-hoo!

earnhardt had won them all

on tracks both big and small

a road course one time

he crossed the brickyard line

won seven winston cups

but that was not enough

‘cause each year did deny

a harley earl prize:

one time irvan pulled a slingshot

then he crashed with two more cars

one time he ran out of gas

one time contact flipped him hard

two “dale-dale” shows:

he got supporting roles

worse still, he blew a tire,

and lost to

a guy

named “cope”!

earnhardt won at daytona

thirty times took home a

bud shootout, one-twenty-five,

an iroc or a busch race; while

the pepsi four hundred

was nice, he badly wanted

to score the big race that day

in 19-19-1998

whoo-hoo-hoo!

(1998) whoo-hoo-hoo!

race day, five guys strived for

the first “no bull five”

and up front both labontes

started out side-by-side

the race was mostly green

lapped cars came up so quickly

sophomore skinner led

then by his thirty-one the three car sped

earnhardt had a good lucky penny

which helped him fight off the tough cars entered by penske

hoping for history, the crowd was anxious

and then, well don’t you know

bad luck

found three

(cars on pit road, but not)

earnhardt daytona

thirty times took home a

bud shootout, one-twenty-five,

an iroc or a busch race; while

the pepsi four hundred

was nice, he badly wanted

to score the big race that day

in 19-19-1998

who-hoo-hoo!

fast lap times

quick pit stops

kept the goodwrench chevy up front all day long (all day long)

and when andretti

spun out with lake speed

the race was

whose

this

time?

it was for

earnhardt, who thundered

to his first five hundred

mayfield leaned on labonte

they could not catch that number three

after all the pit crews

gave high-fives to him, he moved

to do donuts on his stage

in 1998

he had won at daytona

thirty times took home a

bud shootout, one-twenty-five,

an iroc or a busch race; while

the pepsi four hundred

was nice, he badly wanted

to score the big race that day

in 19-19-1998

the james song

2007-01-11T01:13:00.000-08:00

(to the song “papa’s got a brand new bag” by james brown)

harvick, bowyer

and jeff burton have

a new teammate

who’s seventy-two

it ain’t no lie

hylton’s got a childress ride

nascar’s rookie

way back in sixty-six

also in points was

second to david pearson

and now, that’s right

hylton’s got a childress ride

has seven years

on dave marcis

but daytona he’ll try hard not to miss

he once did race a

car of tomorrow

(which) had a much

bigger rear wing

than today’s will!

car forty-eight

was his in the day;

won his two races

four years ‘fore jim johnson was born

and now this time

he’s got a childress ride—

for the one and only godfather of soul
james brown 1933 - 2006

*GOOD LUCK, TEAM FIFTY-EIGHT!*

bobby hamilton 1957 - 2007

2007-01-08T01:10:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, let me offer my condolences to the Hamilton family for their loss. From his humble beginnings as a stunt driver for "Days of Thunder" to his Winston Cup wins for The King, Andy Petree and Morgan-McClure to his tenacious battles which made him the 2004 Craftsman Truck Series Champion, 1991 NASCAR Winston Cup Rookie of the Year Bobby Hamilton was a great champion and a class act. He will truly be missed.

So, here's what's going on here at the site. As I did not post a tribute to James Brown after his passing last Christmas, I decided on New Year's that this week I would do a tribute to him by changing the lyrics of one of his songs. When it was announced 72-year-old James Hylton would be driving a Childress car at Daytona this year, I then picked "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag" as the James Brown song to talk about Hylton this week. In fact, I just finished "the james song" last night right before I heard the news about Bobby.

So, in honor of Bobby, what I've decided to do is cut the mike, at least for a couple days. To allow for both tributes in the same week, this post will remain at the top of my page until Thursday, at which point "the james song" will be posted as this week's entry. It's a tricky balancing act between the worlds of NASCAR and music and I thank you for bearing with me.

In the meantime, as part of this tribute, let me offer this link to a YouTube video posted recently of Bobby Hamilton's final Winston Cup victory at Talladega in 2001

the 1992 hooters five hundred at atlanta

2007-01-01T01:59:00.000-08:00

(to the song “american pie” by don mclean)

a day we fans all know:

fifteenth of november

nascar season nineteen ninety-two

from six only would one advance

this race was each their final chance

to grab that big ol’ trophy, they all knew

from february toward the winter

came battles on-track fond and bitter

earnhardt had such bad luck

the fords were all too darn tough!

above one track the stars aligned

when a legend drove one final time

then drama this man left behind

the day the king retired

but, my, my, who’s this kulwicki guy?

thought that maybe this time davey’s title run would be fine

while elliott won atlanta and tried,

jeff gordon drove his first winston cup ride,

twenty-fours were placed on its sides

apache copters above

the hampton, georgia racing hub

did a fly-by way down low

forty-one loud cars began to roll

with rick mast’s oldsmobile on pole

and richard petty, the whole scene, he stole

well the green flag flew and cars entwined

when mast wrecked so hard with brett bodine

davey’s car got a boot, alan and bill both made it through

the whole robert yates crew made a patch

so the havoline car would not so much catch

way too much air and risk a crash

the day the king retired

we all were thinking,

my, my, who’s this kulwicki guy?

thought that maybe this time davey’s title run would be fine

while elliott won atlanta and tried,

jeff gordon drove his first winston cup ride

twenty-fours were placed on its sides

now the fans cheered richard’s pontiac

and hoped he’d win this final track

but that just wasn’t meant to be

when schrader and trickle’s tires squealed

all the smoke, it rose up and concealed

a big crash and the king’s car was burning

oh, and while he rolled, king cried aloud:

“hey guys, put out my fire now!”

to one small fire crew he fought to pull up to

and while clean-up work for him began

petty waved to his faithful fans

then climbed into an ambulance

the day the king retired

we were thinking,

my, my, who’s this kulwicki guy?

thought that maybe this time davey’s title run would be fine

while elliott won atlanta and tried,

jeff gordon drove his first winston cup ride

twenty-fours were placed on its sides

at the front the racin’ just got better

alan and bill fought hard together

in sixth place, davey relaxed—

—a crash! irvan spun out so fast

allison tried for an outside pass

but then ernie swerved into him, and they crashed

now davey tried so hard to resume

but his suspension broke in two

there went his title chance

oh, but he took it like a champ!

while his pit crew worked to fix his ford

disappointment davey ignored

said, “come next year, we’ll win and more”

the day the king retired

we sat repeating,

my, my, who’s this kulwicki guy?

thought that maybe this time davey’s title run would be fine

while elliott won atlanta and tried,

jeff gordon drove his first winston cup ride

twenty-fours were placed on its sides

oh, then bill put alan in a chase

a championship both could taste

with one stop left to make the end

but paul andrews had just one final trick:

“save fuel while leading bill, then pit”

‘cause bonus points, kulwicki needed ten

oh, though the lead on pit road exchanged

the laps bill led would not sustain

a hundred two for he

alan led one-oh-three!

and as the budweiser car took the win

the runner-up was champion

alan’s polish lap then did begin

the day the king retired

we were cheering,

my, my, who’s this kulwicki guy?

thought that maybe this time davey’s title run would be fine

while elliott won atlanta and tried,

jeff gordon drove his first winston cup ride

twenty-fours were placed on its sides

and then around the middle groove

did roll the king’s steed burnt and bruised

front-end crushed and torn away

fans went down to the big catch fence

to voice their calls of reverence

window net down, visor lifted, petty waved

and in the stands, the fan’s tears streamed

so few dry eyes worn by his team

and when king stopped his engine

he answered several questions

to doctor punch he did admit

“my life, i would change none of it”

and with cowboy hat, left the pits

the day that he retired

he smiled while thinking,

“my, my, who’s this kulwicki guy?

thought that maybe this time davey’s title run would be fine

while elliott won atlanta and tried,

jeff gordon drove his first winston cup ride

twenty-fours were placed on its sides”

he was thinking,

“my, my, who’s this kulwicki guy?

thought that maybe this time davey’s title run would be fine

while elliott won atlanta and tried,

jeff gordon drove his first winston cup ride”

in loving memory
alan kulwicki 1954 - 1993
davey allison 1961 - 1993

KFNF Index By Week

2006-12-22T00:50:00.000-08:00

happy holidays, nascar nation!

2006-12-18T02:47:00.000-08:00

(to the song “grandma got run over by a reindeer” by elmo and patsy)

santa won at dover with his reindeer

beating jimmie johnson christmas eve

worse than when he lost back at atlanta

a sleigh with nine deer-power took the lead

tire chains had been mandated

since the track was wrapped in snow

and with the plowman on vacation

nascar made them use the car of tomorrow

this leveled the field for santa

who qualified in mid-pack

the “yule-tide ride” turned some heads then

but ryan newman’s dodge still on the pole sat

santa won at dover with his reindeer

beating jimmie johnson christmas eve

worse than when he lost back at atlanta

a sleigh with nine deer-power took the lead

as some cars spun into snowbanks

out of danger, santa moved

called his elves for a spring rubber

while he cleaned the marbles off the reindeer’s hooves

yellow snow brought out the caution

no, wait, that’s harvick’s paintscheme

he had hoped this was a busch race

but instead he spun while running in fifteenth (in fifteenth?!)

santa won at dover with his reindeer

beating jimmie johnson christmas eve

worse than when he lost back at atlanta

a sleigh with nine deer-power took the lead

now the air was getting colder

the white flag froze in mid-wave (brr!)

while the blue and silver lowe’s car

tried to stop this jimmy spencer of the sleigh

johnson dove down to the inside

outside line, kris kringle chose

and when the checkers fell, sleigh bells rang:

rudolph edged the lowe’s impala by a nose!

santa won at dover with his reindeer

beating jimmie johnson christmas eve

worse than when he lost back at atlanta

a sleigh with nine deer-power took the lead

sing it!

santa won at dover with his reindeer

beating jimmie johnson christmas eve

worse than when he lost back at atlanta

a sleigh with nine deer-power took the lead

the 1998 napa autocare five hundred at martinsville (excited fan edition!)

2006-12-10T10:37:00.000-08:00

(to the song “gimme some lovin’” by the spencer davis group)

well my rear is on fire, feet melted to the floor

too many cautions draggin’ this race out more

stricklin is ready, but i’ve sure got a shot

for the sixteenth straight season, win though it’s hot

and i sure hope i make it

i need to make it

i gotta get a ricky rudd win (gotta get me a rudd win)

get a ricky rudd win (gotta get me a rudd win)

get a ricky rudd win, why not today?

well i know i could, pain is so far from my mind

daytona in eighty-four, i taped open my eyes

a/c won’t stay, but if i can see it through

linda’ll be waiting with some ice packs for you!

so i sure hope i make it

i need to make it

i gotta get a ricky rudd win (gotta get me a rudd win)

get a ricky rudd win (gotta get me a rudd win)

get a ricky rudd win, why not today?

well, i’m feelin’ good, jeff burton is surely not

and gordon won’t be easy if i get myself caught

move it, lapped cars, checkers crossed my hood

now i’m gonna collapse, oxygen would be so good

‘cause i’m so glad i made it

i fin’lly made it

i got - got another rudd win (got another big rudd win)

got another rudd win (got another big rudd win)—

the 1989 tyson holly farms four hundred at north wilkesboro

2006-12-04T14:10:00.000-08:00

(to the song “build me up buttercup” by the foundations)

why did you spin me out (spin me out)

ricky rudd, only

with one lap to go? (lap to go)

it messed up my show

and then worst of all (worst of all)

rusty made it past me

and north wilkesboro (wilkesboro)

went to geoff bodine

i’ll blame you (i’ll blame you)

if i lose my fourth title

you just plain don’t mess with earnhardt

so do me a (do me a) favor, rudd

sit out next week

nineteen eighty and nine is goin’ down to the line

thanks to you, i need to win again

i could not afford a day like charlotte before

my gear blew right at the beginnin’

(hey, hey, hey) ricky, ricky, are you so blind?

(hey, hey, hey) now chocolate myers is on your behind

(hey, hey, hey) we’re not through

i’ll be out with my crew

waiting for you!

ooooh, ooooh

why did you spin me out (spin me out)

ricky rudd, only

with one lap to go? (lap to go)

it messed up my show

and then worst of all (worst of all)

rusty made it past me

and north wilkesboro (wilkesboro)

went to geoff bodine

i’ll blame you (i’ll blame you)

if i lose my fourth title

you just plain don’t mess with earnhardt

so do me a (do me a) favor, rudd

sit out next week

i am annoyed but at least you destroyed your buick

when we slid in the fence

you say i came down, but we both spun around off you, rick!

that is a weak defense!

(hey, hey, hey) ricky, ricky, are you so blind?

(hey, hey, hey) now chocolate myers is on your behind

(hey, hey, hey) we’re not through

i’ll be out with my crew

waiting for you!

ooooh, ooooh

why did you spin me out (spin me out)

ricky rudd, only

with one lap to go? (lap to go)

it messed up my show

and then worst of all (worst of all)

rusty made it past me

and north wilkesboro (wilkesboro)

went to geoff bodine

i’ll blame you (i’ll blame you)

if i lose my fourth title

you just plain don’t mess with earnhardt

so do me a (do me a) favor, rudd

sit out next week

i-i-i’ll blame you

if i lose my fourth title

you just plain don’t mess with earnhardt

so do me a (do me a) favor, rudd

sit out next week—

Click Here To Watch The Infamous Finish!

red versus blue

2006-11-28T00:55:00.000-08:00

(to the song “the loco-motion” by kylie minogue)

go, jimmie johnson!

go, jimmie johnson!

everybody’s cheering a brand-new champ now (and now, fin’lly, it is jimmie johnson)

(but) my friend didn’t like it and he had himself a cow (junior, he says, should beat jimmie johnson)

he said, “i just can’t help it, i plain don’t see how

a guy with unibrow who eats at in-n-out

beat earnhardt, junior in the nextel chase this past week!”

i said, “don’t you forget now

he’s been waiting - four years, so close

now you must give props to lowe’s!”

he said, “i can’t do it, not since daytona (i guess he meant when knaus was alone, huh?)

and back at talladega in middle-october (although vickers crowded his rear bumper!)

he’s from californ-ee and he acts so damn dull

i hoped hamlin would wreck him back at martinsville

and, come on, come on, this is jimmie johnson to me:

what a team effort, this lowe’s/top choice lumber/kobalt/quaker state/delphi chevy monte carlo ran great today, chad made some great calls on pit road, these little wheels gripped great and i found some help over by plywood, and i just want to thank jeff gordon and rick hendrick for making this happen for me—"

i told him, “you’re right,” but remember just one thing (back when he thought the fat lady did sing)

perseverance tips he got from one champion (he got advice from bobby allison)

“if teammates go and wreck you, just finish top-two

for five straight races and there’ll be no chance you’ll lose,”

(he) told jimmie johnson, who’s goin’ to new york this week!

(bickering over instrumental)

everybody’s cheering a brand-new champ now (and now, fin’lly, it is jimmie johnson)

but my friend didn’t like it and he had himself a cow (junior, he says, should beat jimmie johnson)

he said, “i just can’t help it, i plain don’t see how

this guy with unibrow who eats at in-n-out

beat earnhardt, junior in the nextel chase this—

jimmie johnson won the nextel cup this—

jimmie johnson won the nextel cup this past week!

the 2006 ford four hundred at homestead

2006-11-22T23:55:00.000-08:00

(to the song “bicycle race” by queen)

greg biffle

greg biffle

greg biffle

three homestead wins by

greg biffle

greg biffle

greg biffle

three years now, our man greg biffle

won miami at night

early, he said, “we’ll spank ‘em all”

and, boy, he was so very right!

stewart’s car? - way too tight!

montoya? - did ignite!

and junior? - took the high line

then smacked into turn two

and lost ground to johnson!

the busch boys? - hit turn two!

yeley’s toy? - gas was through!

gilliland? - that was too bad

a top five, he was robbed of

when benny said “hey, good job”

while the guy in front was

greg biffle

greg biffle

greg biffle

three homestead wins by

greg biffle

greg biffle

greg biffle

three years now, our man greg biffle

won miami at night

early, he said, “we’ll spank ‘em all”

and, boy, he was so—

“now jimmie johnson is top dog today”

nbc, don’t ignore greg again

“makes you think of the plane crash we oft say”

no, i don’t think that needs a mention

mark martin’s last race?—no!

not in the chase

but in first place

greg won the race

greg biffle

greg biffle

greg biffle

three homestead wins by

greg biffle

greg biffle

greg biffle, greg biffle, greg—

truex was in second place!

(bicycle bell medley)

casey mears? - lost engine!

and newman? - took a spin!

hamlin - had loose lugnuts

he “let it all hang out”

and finished about third place!

jeff gordon? - a long day!

and robby? - fought away!

“what now, bill?” - asked dallenbach

and then bill weber made a decree

to “get thrown out of applebees”

while, with a trophy, still was

greg biffle

greg biffle

greg biffle

three homestead wins by

greg biffle

greg biffle

greg biffle

three years now, our man greg biffle

won miami at night

early, he said, “we’ll spank ‘em all”

and, boy, he was so very right!

the 2006 checker auto parts five hundred at phoenix

2006-11-14T11:41:00.000-08:00

(to the song “twenty-five or six to four” by chicago)

vandebosch was wed tuesday

(her) husband led first on sunday

deputy busch lost the fight

when his pit crew cost him time

edwards got back bob osborne

(at) twenty-nine’s phoenix encore

(solos)

johnson’s title, he can taste

flew so quick to second place

jamie said “needless to say

(for) irwin tools at lowe’s i’ll pay!”

jeff green looked at raines with scorn

(at) twenty-nine’s phoenix encore

(solos)

martin’s tires felt the heat

sterling, petty did unseat

gordon knocked edwards sideways

all of clint’s oil leaked away

harvick’s batt’ry became worn

(at) twenty-nine’s phoenix encore—

the 2006 dickies five hundred at texas

2006-11-07T17:18:00.000-08:00

(to the song “here i go again” by whitesnake)

vickers, johnson, busch, and gordon

cheered a teammate and a friend

twice he was the champion, twenty-two wins ‘long the way

with justin at his side, terry took one last cup ride

(at) texas last weekend, texas last weekend

all the fans waved back to labonte

hendrick nearly cried watchin’ forty-four

and then that night came one more dedication

from the guy in the lead

who’s sponsored by georgia taxidermy!

there smoke goes again on his own

jeff burton hit the wall hard, we were all shown

vickers slid his car but saved it, what a show

but did harvick collide with scott riggs later that night?

although earnhardt did not feel good

and he hit the wall seriously

(he) fought his way sixth place, tums kept him in the chase;

matt kenseth was too free, but finished twelfth most unexpectedly!

and there smoke goes again on his own

kasey had wet shoes, his engine wound up blown

green-white-checkers came, but johnson couldn’t close

bowyer almost received

the texas race weekend sweep

but there smoke goes again

climbin’ up the fence

two straight fall weekends

pizza ‘n cooooooooooke!

(guitar riff)

tony got so much heat

for bumping brett’s corvette while in the lead!

‘cause there smoke goes again on his own

jeff burton hit the wall hard, we were all shown

vickers slid his car but saved it, what a show

but did harvick collide with scott riggs later that night?

and there smoke goes again on his own

kasey had wet shoes, his engine wound up blown

green-white-checkers came, but johnson couldn’t close

bowyer almost received

the texas nascar weekend first-win sweep!

and there smoke goes again on his own

jeff burton hit the wall hard, we were all shown

vickers slid his car but saved it, what a show

but did harvick collide with scott riggs later that night—

thanks for the memories, texas terry! click here to watch my clip of him leading jeff gordon at infineon!

the 2006 bass pro shops five hundred at atlanta

2006-10-31T12:37:00.000-08:00

(to the song “the devil went down to georgia” by the charlie daniels band)

when racin’ came back to georgia, in eleventh spot on the field

sat an orange ride with twenty on its side, tony stewart ‘hind the wheel.

everyone inside the top ten raced into the chase, but tony did not

but when the green flag fell things went not-so-well for all the guys who were runnin’ up front:

a mess kyle busch got in tweaked his fender out-of-view

and in the glare, a drivin’ err’ spun gordon in turn two

kahne made young stremme the middle of a sandwich and was through

so was martin, oh no! a tough ol’ blow when he got crashed into

while up front good ol’ tony watched lapped cars leave again

the big sun did set, there came a new threat, name of jimmie johnson

tony, get up on that wheel and drive your chevy hard

‘cause johnson’s comin’ at ya in the forty-eight lowe’s car

if you should win, that big wood trophy you can rightly own

but here’s good news: your fuel is good-to-go!

(violin riff)

harvick won the busch race, but his cup car would not go

high in the wall went martin truex, but he put on a good show

though his truck saturday flew on wings, “blew up,” said poor mike bliss

and jarrett was enjoyin’ a resoundin’ bit of success

(guitar riff)

under caution, earnhardt junior said

“why am i the only one

who stayed out while the cars back there

got new tires for this run?!”

smoke won atlanta, beat johnson

runnin’ in eleventh, he’s still havin’ fun

burton got real mad about trash throws

hamlin went a lap down goin’ too slow

(violin riff)

when johnson looked ahead, stewart led by plenty of feet

and clint crashed ‘till he whittled the oh-seven into meat

tony said, “jimmie, i’m comin’ back for you guys next weekend,

i ain’t in the chase, but i still won the race, so i’m climibin’ up the fence

replay:

smoke won atlanta, beat johnson

runnin’ in eleventh, he’s still havin’ fun

burton got real mad about trash throws

hamlin went a lap down goin’ too slow

(violin riff)

the 2006 subway five hundred at martinsville

2006-10-24T23:11:00.000-07:00

(to the song “welcome to the jungle” by guns ‘n roses)

this week at martinsville

ward came back to play

jeff lost points to matt kenseth,

(his) engine just went away

although kurt busch started on pole

he wrecked out near the lead

newman bumped on casey, but he

got a penalty

at martinsville

jimmie johnson soon will

hold off denny for the

l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-lead, lead

(but) his miss had some speed!

early at martinsville

jeff gordon showed the way

it was cold but the sun came out

his handle went away

the caution was mostly unfurled

for ragan’s car and deeds

wrecked ken schrader’s top ten

seven hundred starts from he

at martinsville

jimmie johnson soon will

climb up, up, up, up the point scene

wow - third place for his team!

(guitar riffs)

later at martinsville

mike skinner in harvick’s way

martin’s car lost all its water

jeff green had a good day

junior spun out his car from greed

and bobby once had the lead

until johnson then came up front

followed close by denny

at martinsville

jimmie johnson soon will

hold off denny for the

l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-lead, lead

(but) his miss had some speed!

and when the caution came out

denny said that “he’s mine,” “he’s mine,” “he’s mine,” “he’s mine!”

yeaaaah!

(guitar riffs)

who won it by far?

jimmie johnson, baby!

held him off up high!

at martinsville

jimmie johnson soon will

hold off denny for the

l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-lead, lead!

at martinsville

jimmie johnson soon will

climb up, up, up, up the point scene!

at martinsville

jimmie johnson soon will

hold off denny for the

l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-lead, lead!

at martinsville

jimmie johnson soon will

climb all the way up the—

third place for his team!